Have moved!!

please find my posts henceforth at the address

http://www.anudreams.com

blogspot has truly been a wonderful platform where i cud put forth my opinion without having to worry about the nitty gritty technical stuff involved in creating and maintaining a site(which i have just learnt the hard way! :D) but its time to move on....

This won't hurt a bit

Some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.
It is hard to be self possessed
With your jaw digging into your chest,
So hard to retain calm
When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm

Those lines by Ogden Nash from the poem titled “this is going to hurt a just a little bit” pretty much summarizes the worst possible nightmare of every person’s life. You don think so? Hey you there…The one with the “oh really! Don’t-be-a- kid attitude”, lets hear what you have to say after you have had a hammer break down your teeth, a bulldozer remove them and a lawnmower clear out the remaining fragments. Well technically I win coz you won’t be able to say anything. I do understand that the tools a dentist uses are much smaller in size (duh!) but that’s exactly the feeling you get in your head when they bring it so close

The irony of the situation is that you go in for an extraction and they tell you “well we will do all that we can but sometimes, jus very rarely your tongue might become numb for the rest of your life or your jaw bone might get fractured…. Jus sign here so that you don’t hold us responsible for it”. So I’m out of a 1000 dollars, they might fracture my bones and they are not responsible for anything that happens after the surgery. Wow and I thought being in the software industry reaped the most profit with least amount of associated risks.

If this is not the most ridiculous…listen to this “Oh dearie! You won’t know anything. You will be sleeping throughout the procedure” and then after about 10 minutes of listening to their sugar coated honey talk and having been reassured a little, they come up with something like this “FYI, there might be some allergic reactions to the general anaesthesia that we administer, such as nausea, vomiting or in very rare cases…. death”. You guessed it! One more document to sign saying they are not responsible for any of above mentioned so-called side effects.

At this point, I almost wanted to say “have you done any surgeries before? Let’s see your doctor’s certificate you quack!”…. I guess my survival instinct just couldn’t lie down quietly

Sometimes I wonder if it is knowledge or ignorance that the human mind needs. 30 years back when my dad got his tooth extracted, he caught a bus went to the dentist place, they gave him a palliative of some kind, pulled out the tooth and then he caught a bus back home. Have we made things easier? Have we reduced the anxiety levels? Have we reduced the pain? Well technological advances may have arrived big time but I still feel the same amount apprehension that Ogden Nash faced four decades ago

The only wisdom that I can impart to you guys right now is that when someone says “don’t worry… this will hurt just a little bit”. That’s your cue to know that its going to hurt hell a lot, you may have to sign death documents where no one is held responsible for dire consequences and its going cost the world

Me.... I feel not... I only see...

Staring outside on to the crowded streets
Ad-midst all the noise, commotion and scorching heat
I have stood behind a single glass door
and welcomed people into the store

I have been here from when the first customer walked in.
With a smile on my face and the best of all clothes, I said "come on in!"
What a journey it has been!
Human nature in a microcosm,I have seen

The youth, they have always cared about today
The old, they have always cared about yesterday
My owner has only cared about selling his goods
Sometimes it scares me to know about people, under their hoods

I have seen generosity in an old man's deeds
I have seen greed in a human being's needs
I have felt pain when a child gets lost in all that crowd
I have felt joy on just being adored

Now that I have become dusty with molds covering my core
No one really wants me around anymore
I'm going to be replaced by someone much younger
can they do as well as I have ever done! I wonder

Tomorrow is the day when I will be dismantled and thrown into a bin
Bah, to everyone in this place, I'm just an old mannequin
sometimes I feel like saying, "I'm as much a human being as anyone else here"
Alas there is no one but me to hear....

is it spicy? is it sweet? is it bitter or sour? what is the taste of life?

The car was going at a pace of about 80. She was literally racing against the wind. She didn't care. She didn't care that the rain was pouring heavily, she didn't care that visibility was almost nil, she just wanted to keep driving. She wanted run away from everything. She was angry with him.

10 years earlier, when they had made their marriage vows, life was so much easier. They had tried to spend every single minute possible together. But now somehow things had changed. He needed more space... yeah that's what he had told her "You can't keep clinging on to me. I need some space of my own". That had hurt. she had not meant to be so nagging. All that she had ever wanted was to spend time with him but for the past few years, after all the promotions at work, he could never make enough time for home.

Things had reached to a point where just seeing her gloomy face every single day was irritating for him. He just did not want to come home. Everything around her seemed to fall down and shatter into a thousand different pieces that couldn't be put back together, she was drifting deep down into a deep abyss... she wanted to run away from it all....

She had reached her grandpa's place when the car screeched into a halt. Her grandpa came out with a huge stick and torch He was not used to late night visitors.

"What are you doing here at this hour in the night?"asked the old man. "don't ask me thatha. just wanna stay here for a few days", said Anita. "Ofcourse! first change your clothes and sleep... we can talk in the morning". His voice was so feeble and weak and yet it had the extraordinary strength of soothing all that she was suffering from. It had been over a decade since her grandmother passed away. That old man was living there all by himself. the whole family had tried to make him sell the place and live with them. He wouldn't budge. There was something about him that made her go to him every time she had faced problems in life

Ever since she was a little kid, he could make her smile. Even during those times when she used fall down ever so often and had to go to the doctor to get a tetanus injection, she needed her grandpa's hands to hold on to. He had taught her to read books, he had taught her the length and breadth of music or rather the absence of a boundary to it. She had had the best of times just going for an evening walk with him. They would discuss anything under the sun. Anything from bhel puri to Einstein's theory of relativity.

She was there for almost a week now. She was not answering calls. She was not even stepping out of the house. She wanted to break herself away from everything. The only thing her old man was worried about was the fact that she had just stopped talking. The girl who was pretty much the life of their family, who could speak volumes ever since she was just five had just stopped talking, had stopped expressing herself.

They were walking along familiar roads in the evening around 6.30. she could feel the cool breeze just blowing her away. There was a chat stall around there. "lets have pani puri!" said Anita with a childlike excitement in her voice. "You have it! lakshmi would never approve of it!"

"thatha! its been so long since lakshmi paatti passed away. how come you are still living in this house? arent you feeling lonely? why dont you come and live with us?" asked Anita while they were having a quiet dinner

"She is here! she may not be physically present but i have never felt her absence. Sometimes it dosent matter if the people whom you love are with you or miles away from you. You just know they care. " It made an ocean of sense. May be she had been wrong after all. Somehow she had never put herself in his shoes.

"Sometimes in life we all make mistakes! don be so angry with everything.", he just had one sip of the rasam and quipped "you know what, your paati always used to put more chilli powder in the rasam than was required... and now I really miss it. It dosent taste the same anymore"

My all time favorite old Tamil songs

Have been tagged by nivi to list what i belive are top 10 tamil duets... well lemme tweak this little because "its my blog page!! i get to do whatever i want" :P and also because there are some lovely songs that i cannot ignore jus because they werent duets

Here is my list of top 10 old tamil songs ( from which i have excluded AR. Rahman since i really wanted to list some old forgotten melodies)... i have also tried my best to order them chronologically(I guess... :D)

1. Senthamizh then mozhial

wonderful rendition by TR. mahalingam... i don think anyone in this era can even try to surpass the pitch in which he sung the song. His voice is just truly unique. The lyrics of this songs truly symbolizes the love songs of 1960's.... really nice to hear

click here to listen to the song

2. chithiram pesudhadi

this song from sabash meena is truly a treat for your ears. sung by our very own TMS. This song brings everything around you to a stand still

click here to listen to this song

3. azhagiya mithilai nagarinile

One of my most favorite duets... hte song emanates simplicity and yet it can never go away from our minds. Sung by P.B srinivas and P.susheela for the movie "annai"

click here to listen to this song

4. kunguma poove konjum purave

One of all time favorite Chandrababu duet songs... I can say that i have grown up listening to chandrababu songs since my dad sings them in light music programmes. He would truly bring chandrababu back to life.

This song is one that i especially like because it has all the elements of chandrababu's mischevousness in it... The song picturization is also very cute

click here to listen to this song

5. nilavum malarum

This is a song from a movie called "then nilavu"... almost all the songs in this movie are good. i guess "oh oh endhan baby!" and "paatu pada vaa"were trendsetters and put gemini ganesan on a different pedastal altogether...lets come back to this song now.

This song is picturized as a boat ride and has all the power to just completely calm your mind every single time you listen to it

click here to listen to this song

6. anubavam pudhumai

yet another awesome duet from kadhalika neram illai... we all know how awesomely hilarious this movie was. I can still watch the nagesh-balaiya comedy scene and laugh my guts out... we can never forget the "oh ho productions" and "there you are!"

All the songs from this movie were good... but this one is such a dreamy, slow melodious number that it makes you feel you can never hear such good singers anymore

click here to listen to this song

7. Rasathi unnai kanadha

my mom can remember me singing this song from when i was 3 yrs old.... (im not kiddind! :D). I love the way the song flows... more than the lyrics, i like this song just for the music... ilayaraja truly a gifted maestro

click here to listen to this song

8. poonkatru thirumbuma

An awesome duet between Malaysia vasudevan and S.janaki for the movie mudhal mariyadhai... i guess this songs brings out the the typical village yesapattu... the lyrics are awesome. A must listen if you even remotely understand tamil

click here to listen to this song

9. nee oru kadhal sangeetham

This song from nayagan is truly a symphony of music, lyrics and picturization.... there is one line in this song that still mesmerizes me is "kadarkarai kaatre vazhiyai vidu... devadhai vandhal ennodu"... miss this kinda lines

click here to listen to this song

10. sirpi irukkudhu

This song can just not be ignored from the top 10 list.... the movie by itself was an eye opener... a picture showcasing the unemployment scenario prevailing back then in India. such a refreshing song by ilayaraja

click here to listen to this song

hope you guys liked listening to all these songs... you can list your favorite tamil songs too in your comments!!

journey back in time!

Dear diary,
So many things happened today that i cant wait to tell you.

Mom made my favorite ice cream today because i was so brave at the dentist uncle's place. i did not cry at all. Mom said she was proud of me. I looked up that word in the dictionary papa gave me and added it to my wordlist. Papa came home late again. I have not seen him home early in the past so many weeks now. Mom says he has lots to do at office. I wish i could see him at home more. I always go to sleep without seeing him. Mom says i would not have so many toys if he dint go to office.

You know,that girl Neeta, she took my pencil which papa had bought from US. I'm not talking to her anymore. she is so bad. My english miss said i write very well. She made me read out a whole chapter in front of the class. I hate to do maths homework. Mom says it is very important but i dont get any of the answers right. I dont like it when teacher says my answers are wrong

Papa gave me a coluring set yesterday. it has so many different colours, a brush and a book. Papa says i draw well. I like to draw and colour it. It makes me happy. but mom says i have to spend time in studying too. I will always listen to mom. She always takes care of me. Sometimes she makes me cry but she always makes good food, she drops me at school, picks me back, plays house house with me and makes me laugh.

Now im sleepy.it is bedtime. i will write to you again tomorrow. bye.




Meera was looking at her own self, who she was, at the age of 8. somehow she felt things still haven't changed a lot. Her mother was still her rock solid support. She still hated some people not because they took her pencil but because they took people whom she wanted to be with, away from her. She still saw her dad once in a blue moon as he was flying between continents pretty often and she still got exicited at the thought of having a paint brush in hand and a potrait board in front of her. But yes, as every one of us does,

she too wished she could go back....
back when she was just 8....
back when birthdays were cheerful, funfilled with friends...
back when exams were your worst enemies...
back when you could sleep at 10 (though you never wanted to)...
back in time...
back in space....

Hum Tum

"I don't want to talk to you... I don't want to see your face. Just get out of my sight", yelled Neeta.

"I don't understand. If you have something to say, why don’t you just go ahead and blurt it out? How am I supposed to know what you are thinking? I’m not a mind reader", shouted an utterly frustrated Siddarth.

He just found it too much to take. They had just celebrated their 1 year anniversary as a couple and here they were, fighting their guts out over an incident which both of them knew they were going to forget in about a week He felt she was making mountain out of a molehill. “When is she ever going to grow up!” was the thought dwelling in his mind

"You were sooooooooo flirting with her"

"I was not! She was your friend and I was making a casual conversation. See if you are not going to trust me, this can never work.”

"You told her that I could never make pulao as well as she did"

"I was being honest... that was a really well made dish and you know that you really can’t cook like that. Now don’t be such a baby. This is jut so petty that I’m embarrassed to be a part of this""(sometimes guys should just keep their mouth shut)

"This sounds petty? Fine you won’t hear anything more from me. You always end up hurting me... "

"I can’t help it if you twist everything that I say... probably you are right.... Let’s just not speak. Let’s take a break!", with that piece of conversation, Siddarth stormed out of her apartment. He did not want to see her face... He just wanted to be alone from all the fights, from all the yelling, from all the tears....

next day

She was hoping he would call. Of course she couldn’t call him. Her ego wouldn't permit that... she was looking at her phone time and again just to see if his name would flash up.

He dint want to call... he wanted to be out of the relationship. He dint want to be bogged down by the strain of it anymore. But he caught himself several times a day looking at his mobile and wondering if it said “Neetu calling”….

One week later

It had been a week since they had seen or spoken to each other

Sid's mobile beeped

"Mom is not well. Need you", from Neeta

He rushed.... excused himself from the meeting, and frantically sped through the traffic with just one thought in mind. Neeta needed him... He needed to be there. He was at her place in half an hour. They had to admit her mom in the hospital since she had had a sudden fall. The only person she could think of was him.

10.00 p.m

“May be I’ll just call her and sound aloof"... he thought

“May be I’ll jus call him and say thank you...but will it sound too artificial”, she thought

They both were fiddling with their mobiles… wondering what to start a conversation with.

The phone rang.... she picked up

"Hey Neetu"

"Hey Sid"

"Actually I was wondering if you have Tara's number from the HR dept", he began sheepishly, trying his best to sound aloof while all that had been in his mind was hearing her voice and making sure she was fine.

she laughed.... she burst out completely...

"You idiot... I missed u too", she said

"BTW I'm soooooooo not interested in your friends... you have a real bad taste in picking friends", said Sid

"I know, I pick them out that way so that I remain to be the only one who can sway you, trouble you, fight with you and yet be the only person for whom you would give up everything in the world"

"Sometimes... just sometimes... you are perfectly right"


P.S: i know this post is too mushy... probably can never happen. but I'm bored of writing tragedies so I thought why not explore another dimension of a relationship... hope u guys like this :-)