Little Miss Sunshine!!

Have moved!!

2009-05-05T13:29:00.002-05:00

please find my posts henceforth at the address

http://www.anudreams.com

blogspot has truly been a wonderful platform where i cud put forth my opinion without having to worry about the nitty gritty technical stuff involved in creating and maintaining a site(which i have just learnt the hard way! :D) but its time to move on....

This won't hurt a bit

2009-05-03T17:35:00.000-05:00

Some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.
It is hard to be self possessed
With your jaw digging into your chest,
So hard to retain calm
When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm

Those lines by Ogden Nash from the poem titled “this is going to hurt a just a little bit” pretty much summarizes the worst possible nightmare of every person’s life. You don think so? Hey you there…The one with the “oh really! Don’t-be-a- kid attitude”, lets hear what you have to say after you have had a hammer break down your teeth, a bulldozer remove them and a lawnmower clear out the remaining fragments. Well technically I win coz you won’t be able to say anything. I do understand that the tools a dentist uses are much smaller in size (duh!) but that’s exactly the feeling you get in your head when they bring it so close

The irony of the situation is that you go in for an extraction and they tell you “well we will do all that we can but sometimes, jus very rarely your tongue might become numb for the rest of your life or your jaw bone might get fractured…. Jus sign here so that you don’t hold us responsible for it”. So I’m out of a 1000 dollars, they might fracture my bones and they are not responsible for anything that happens after the surgery. Wow and I thought being in the software industry reaped the most profit with least amount of associated risks.

If this is not the most ridiculous…listen to this “Oh dearie! You won’t know anything. You will be sleeping throughout the procedure” and then after about 10 minutes of listening to their sugar coated honey talk and having been reassured a little, they come up with something like this “FYI, there might be some allergic reactions to the general anaesthesia that we administer, such as nausea, vomiting or in very rare cases…. death”. You guessed it! One more document to sign saying they are not responsible for any of above mentioned so-called side effects.

At this point, I almost wanted to say “have you done any surgeries before? Let’s see your doctor’s certificate you quack!”…. I guess my survival instinct just couldn’t lie down quietly

Sometimes I wonder if it is knowledge or ignorance that the human mind needs. 30 years back when my dad got his tooth extracted, he caught a bus went to the dentist place, they gave him a palliative of some kind, pulled out the tooth and then he caught a bus back home. Have we made things easier? Have we reduced the anxiety levels? Have we reduced the pain? Well technological advances may have arrived big time but I still feel the same amount apprehension that Ogden Nash faced four decades ago

The only wisdom that I can impart to you guys right now is that when someone says “don’t worry… this will hurt just a little bit”. That’s your cue to know that its going to hurt hell a lot, you may have to sign death documents where no one is held responsible for dire consequences and its going cost the world

Me.... I feel not... I only see...

2009-03-22T18:08:00.006-05:00

Staring outside on to the crowded streets
Ad-midst all the noise, commotion and scorching heat
I have stood behind a single glass door
and welcomed people into the store

I have been here from when the first customer walked in.
With a smile on my face and the best of all clothes, I said "come on in!"
What a journey it has been!
Human nature in a microcosm,I have seen

The youth, they have always cared about today
The old, they have always cared about yesterday
My owner has only cared about selling his goods
Sometimes it scares me to know about people, under their hoods

I have seen generosity in an old man's deeds
I have seen greed in a human being's needs
I have felt pain when a child gets lost in all that crowd
I have felt joy on just being adored

Now that I have become dusty with molds covering my core
No one really wants me around anymore
I'm going to be replaced by someone much younger
can they do as well as I have ever done! I wonder

Tomorrow is the day when I will be dismantled and thrown into a bin
Bah, to everyone in this place, I'm just an old mannequin
sometimes I feel like saying, "I'm as much a human being as anyone else here"
Alas there is no one but me to hear....

is it spicy? is it sweet? is it bitter or sour? what is the taste of life?

2009-01-13T17:28:00.003-06:00

The car was going at a pace of about 80. She was literally racing against the wind. She didn't care. She didn't care that the rain was pouring heavily, she didn't care that visibility was almost nil, she just wanted to keep driving. She wanted run away from everything. She was angry with him.

10 years earlier, when they had made their marriage vows, life was so much easier. They had tried to spend every single minute possible together. But now somehow things had changed. He needed more space... yeah that's what he had told her "You can't keep clinging on to me. I need some space of my own". That had hurt. she had not meant to be so nagging. All that she had ever wanted was to spend time with him but for the past few years, after all the promotions at work, he could never make enough time for home.

Things had reached to a point where just seeing her gloomy face every single day was irritating for him. He just did not want to come home. Everything around her seemed to fall down and shatter into a thousand different pieces that couldn't be put back together, she was drifting deep down into a deep abyss... she wanted to run away from it all....

She had reached her grandpa's place when the car screeched into a halt. Her grandpa came out with a huge stick and torch He was not used to late night visitors.

"What are you doing here at this hour in the night?"asked the old man. "don't ask me thatha. just wanna stay here for a few days", said Anita. "Ofcourse! first change your clothes and sleep... we can talk in the morning". His voice was so feeble and weak and yet it had the extraordinary strength of soothing all that she was suffering from. It had been over a decade since her grandmother passed away. That old man was living there all by himself. the whole family had tried to make him sell the place and live with them. He wouldn't budge. There was something about him that made her go to him every time she had faced problems in life

Ever since she was a little kid, he could make her smile. Even during those times when she used fall down ever so often and had to go to the doctor to get a tetanus injection, she needed her grandpa's hands to hold on to. He had taught her to read books, he had taught her the length and breadth of music or rather the absence of a boundary to it. She had had the best of times just going for an evening walk with him. They would discuss anything under the sun. Anything from bhel puri to Einstein's theory of relativity.

She was there for almost a week now. She was not answering calls. She was not even stepping out of the house. She wanted to break herself away from everything. The only thing her old man was worried about was the fact that she had just stopped talking. The girl who was pretty much the life of their family, who could speak volumes ever since she was just five had just stopped talking, had stopped expressing herself.

They were walking along familiar roads in the evening around 6.30. she could feel the cool breeze just blowing her away. There was a chat stall around there. "lets have pani puri!" said Anita with a childlike excitement in her voice. "You have it! lakshmi would never approve of it!"

"thatha! its been so long since lakshmi paatti passed away. how come you are still living in this house? arent you feeling lonely? why dont you come and live with us?" asked Anita while they were having a quiet dinner

"She is here! she may not be physically present but i have never felt her absence. Sometimes it dosent matter if the people whom you love are with you or miles away from you. You just know they care. " It made an ocean of sense. May be she had been wrong after all. Somehow she had never put herself in his shoes.

"Sometimes in life we all make mistakes! don be so angry with everything.", he just had one sip of the rasam and quipped "you know what, your paati always used to put more chilli powder in the rasam than was required... and now I really miss it. It dosent taste the same anymore"

My all time favorite old Tamil songs

2008-11-22T22:46:00.002-06:00

Have been tagged by nivi to list what i belive are top 10 tamil duets... well lemme tweak this little because "its my blog page!! i get to do whatever i want" :P and also because there are some lovely songs that i cannot ignore jus because they werent duets

Here is my list of top 10 old tamil songs ( from which i have excluded AR. Rahman since i really wanted to list some old forgotten melodies)... i have also tried my best to order them chronologically(I guess... :D)

1. Senthamizh then mozhial

wonderful rendition by TR. mahalingam... i don think anyone in this era can even try to surpass the pitch in which he sung the song. His voice is just truly unique. The lyrics of this songs truly symbolizes the love songs of 1960's.... really nice to hear

click here to listen to the song

2. chithiram pesudhadi

this song from sabash meena is truly a treat for your ears. sung by our very own TMS. This song brings everything around you to a stand still

click here to listen to this song

3. azhagiya mithilai nagarinile

One of my most favorite duets... hte song emanates simplicity and yet it can never go away from our minds. Sung by P.B srinivas and P.susheela for the movie "annai"

click here to listen to this song

4. kunguma poove konjum purave

One of all time favorite Chandrababu duet songs... I can say that i have grown up listening to chandrababu songs since my dad sings them in light music programmes. He would truly bring chandrababu back to life.

This song is one that i especially like because it has all the elements of chandrababu's mischevousness in it... The song picturization is also very cute

click here to listen to this song

5. nilavum malarum

This is a song from a movie called "then nilavu"... almost all the songs in this movie are good. i guess "oh oh endhan baby!" and "paatu pada vaa"were trendsetters and put gemini ganesan on a different pedastal altogether...lets come back to this song now.

This song is picturized as a boat ride and has all the power to just completely calm your mind every single time you listen to it

click here to listen to this song

6. anubavam pudhumai

yet another awesome duet from kadhalika neram illai... we all know how awesomely hilarious this movie was. I can still watch the nagesh-balaiya comedy scene and laugh my guts out... we can never forget the "oh ho productions" and "there you are!"

All the songs from this movie were good... but this one is such a dreamy, slow melodious number that it makes you feel you can never hear such good singers anymore

click here to listen to this song

7. Rasathi unnai kanadha

my mom can remember me singing this song from when i was 3 yrs old.... (im not kiddind! :D). I love the way the song flows... more than the lyrics, i like this song just for the music... ilayaraja truly a gifted maestro

click here to listen to this song

8. poonkatru thirumbuma

An awesome duet between Malaysia vasudevan and S.janaki for the movie mudhal mariyadhai... i guess this songs brings out the the typical village yesapattu... the lyrics are awesome. A must listen if you even remotely understand tamil

click here to listen to this song

9. nee oru kadhal sangeetham

This song from nayagan is truly a symphony of music, lyrics and picturization.... there is one line in this song that still mesmerizes me is "kadarkarai kaatre vazhiyai vidu... devadhai vandhal ennodu"... miss this kinda lines

click here to listen to this song

10. sirpi irukkudhu

This song can just not be ignored from the top 10 list.... the movie by itself was an eye opener... a picture showcasing the unemployment scenario prevailing back then in India. such a refreshing song by ilayaraja

click here to listen to this song

hope you guys liked listening to all these songs... you can list your favorite tamil songs too in your comments!!

journey back in time!

2008-09-09T13:51:00.006-05:00

Dear diary,
So many things happened today that i cant wait to tell you.

Mom made my favorite ice cream today because i was so brave at the dentist uncle's place. i did not cry at all. Mom said she was proud of me. I looked up that word in the dictionary papa gave me and added it to my wordlist. Papa came home late again. I have not seen him home early in the past so many weeks now. Mom says he has lots to do at office. I wish i could see him at home more. I always go to sleep without seeing him. Mom says i would not have so many toys if he dint go to office.

You know,that girl Neeta, she took my pencil which papa had bought from US. I'm not talking to her anymore. she is so bad. My english miss said i write very well. She made me read out a whole chapter in front of the class. I hate to do maths homework. Mom says it is very important but i dont get any of the answers right. I dont like it when teacher says my answers are wrong

Papa gave me a coluring set yesterday. it has so many different colours, a brush and a book. Papa says i draw well. I like to draw and colour it. It makes me happy. but mom says i have to spend time in studying too. I will always listen to mom. She always takes care of me. Sometimes she makes me cry but she always makes good food, she drops me at school, picks me back, plays house house with me and makes me laugh.

Now im sleepy.it is bedtime. i will write to you again tomorrow. bye.

Meera was looking at her own self, who she was, at the age of 8. somehow she felt things still haven't changed a lot. Her mother was still her rock solid support. She still hated some people not because they took her pencil but because they took people whom she wanted to be with, away from her. She still saw her dad once in a blue moon as he was flying between continents pretty often and she still got exicited at the thought of having a paint brush in hand and a potrait board in front of her. But yes, as every one of us does,

she too wished she could go back....
back when she was just 8....
back when birthdays were cheerful, funfilled with friends...
back when exams were your worst enemies...
back when you could sleep at 10 (though you never wanted to)...
back in time...
back in space....

Hum Tum

2008-08-21T23:13:00.003-05:00

"I don't want to talk to you... I don't want to see your face. Just get out of my sight", yelled Neeta.

"I don't understand. If you have something to say, why don’t you just go ahead and blurt it out? How am I supposed to know what you are thinking? I’m not a mind reader", shouted an utterly frustrated Siddarth.

He just found it too much to take. They had just celebrated their 1 year anniversary as a couple and here they were, fighting their guts out over an incident which both of them knew they were going to forget in about a week He felt she was making mountain out of a molehill. “When is she ever going to grow up!” was the thought dwelling in his mind

"You were sooooooooo flirting with her"

"I was not! She was your friend and I was making a casual conversation. See if you are not going to trust me, this can never work.”

"You told her that I could never make pulao as well as she did"

"I was being honest... that was a really well made dish and you know that you really can’t cook like that. Now don’t be such a baby. This is jut so petty that I’m embarrassed to be a part of this""(sometimes guys should just keep their mouth shut)

"This sounds petty? Fine you won’t hear anything more from me. You always end up hurting me... "

"I can’t help it if you twist everything that I say... probably you are right.... Let’s just not speak. Let’s take a break!", with that piece of conversation, Siddarth stormed out of her apartment. He did not want to see her face... He just wanted to be alone from all the fights, from all the yelling, from all the tears....

next day

She was hoping he would call. Of course she couldn’t call him. Her ego wouldn't permit that... she was looking at her phone time and again just to see if his name would flash up.

He dint want to call... he wanted to be out of the relationship. He dint want to be bogged down by the strain of it anymore. But he caught himself several times a day looking at his mobile and wondering if it said “Neetu calling”….

One week later

It had been a week since they had seen or spoken to each other

Sid's mobile beeped

"Mom is not well. Need you", from Neeta

He rushed.... excused himself from the meeting, and frantically sped through the traffic with just one thought in mind. Neeta needed him... He needed to be there. He was at her place in half an hour. They had to admit her mom in the hospital since she had had a sudden fall. The only person she could think of was him.

10.00 p.m

“May be I’ll just call her and sound aloof"... he thought

“May be I’ll jus call him and say thank you...but will it sound too artificial”, she thought

They both were fiddling with their mobiles… wondering what to start a conversation with.

The phone rang.... she picked up

"Hey Neetu"

"Hey Sid"

"Actually I was wondering if you have Tara's number from the HR dept", he began sheepishly, trying his best to sound aloof while all that had been in his mind was hearing her voice and making sure she was fine.

she laughed.... she burst out completely...

"You idiot... I missed u too", she said

"BTW I'm soooooooo not interested in your friends... you have a real bad taste in picking friends", said Sid

"I know, I pick them out that way so that I remain to be the only one who can sway you, trouble you, fight with you and yet be the only person for whom you would give up everything in the world"

"Sometimes... just sometimes... you are perfectly right"

P.S: i know this post is too mushy... probably can never happen. but I'm bored of writing tragedies so I thought why not explore another dimension of a relationship... hope u guys like this :-)

Forlorn hope!

2008-06-28T02:43:00.005-05:00

Tears were at the border of her eyelids
She couldn’t speak, lest she be heard
She couldn’t wail, lest people get to know
She couldn’t scream, lest the whole village should wake up

One drop after another, it poured out ever so silently
She did not understand her own pain
Was it her heart breaking? Or was it the faith she had in people?
Or was it just the trust she had in one person?

The trees were still swaying to the ballad of the night wind
The stars were shining ever so brightly
The riverbank echoed peace in every roar
Completely ignorant of the turmoil her mind was in

They had drenched in the rains and made small boats together
They had learned to spell alphabets and made mistakes together
They had written their names on the rocks together
They had eaten stolen mangoes together

He had gone, left without saying anything
Looking forward to a better world, a better future
Leaving her absolutely alone
Leaving her to cry into the wind

Was he keeping well?
She wished for his happiness, she prayed for his safety
She hoped he was having food at the proper hours…
Not a missive, Not a word, and yet it did not matter to her

Lips still pursed, with a lump in her throat
Never having known what it was to be an island
There she was standing at the footpath of the Railway station
Wishing, waiting, wanting…..

P.S: dedicated to a line in one of my favorite songs which i believe totally mirrors the idea behind this post "kyun khoya khoya chand ki firak mein talaash mein udhaas hai dil"-from Khoya Khoya Chand

"If, If, If....."

2008-06-13T18:19:00.005-05:00

"So many unwanted things accumulated over all these years... I need a dust mask to get out of this place alive. You could give me a hand you know! instead of staring at me and smiling while I struggle to handle this absolutely unimportant worldly load of crap", cribbed Rahul as he had been doing for almost an hour now.

Rahul and Sonia were shifting apartments to make room for the arrival of their life's most awaited responsibility.

"Dont you crib! all this crap belongs to you. You and your practice of never giving away anything that has dust and mites in it...clinging on to your LKG books and 1st standard report card as if they were some kind of Pirates' treasure. We cannot even proudly show them to arpita coz you have not even made an "A" in them", quipped Sonia after cautiously casting away the report card on their couch.

"I don't like the name arpita... We should call her Priya"

"That is so old fashioned" cried Sonia and threw a couch cushion at him.

and lo! there had started the most important fight that they have been having for the past 6 months now... the name for their baby girl

Amidst all this wrestling with baby names, his hands came across a small plastic bag buried among some old debris in the topmost shelf. Time, had showered upon it a feel of ancient antiquity. He blew the dust away and slowly opened it. His hands froze, his eyes were locked upon its contents....

He remembered how he had acquired each and every one them .... even after all these years he could remember vividly how for the very first time in his life he had mustered enough courage to go and talk to a girl. He had always been in a boys school and the transition to college was something he never knew how to cross. She had been his first friend who was a girl. She had held his hand during every single occasion he had felt low or depressed... She had been the one face he had almost broken his neck for by craning it in every possible angle so that he could see her better during college class hours.

Every single thing in the packet had once been very dear to him, a paper that they had used while playing "Hollywood" with a couple of country names scribbled upon them, the wrapper of a chocolate that she had given him during her birthday, a 2 inches long pencil that she used to term as her lucky pencil, a graph paper that she had drawn for his physics practical assignment, an old rusted keychain with the letter P etched on it which she had got for him as a birthday gift and a 'letter'... A letter that Priya had written to him right after their last fight... he did not even remember the reason anymore... He was still in a state of daze where he couldn't figure out what was reality and what wasn't. He couldn't help thinking "if, if, if, if only!"...

"if- a two lettered word for futility"!! how true the sentence seemed now!

"Hey i have made some pakodas and coffee for the guy who has worked so hard all morning and whose report card i can never show to any of my kids", said Sonia with a beaming smile.

May be it was her eyes or may be it was her pakodas... somehow the packet did not matter to him anymore. He realized that what he had was probably much more than he had ever deserved. He did not have to cling on to his past to find a foothold in the present ever again.

"You know I have actually started to like the name arpita", said Rahul.

"Finally we agree on something!", exclaimed Sonia with a question in her eyes... which had every probability of remaining unanswered.

P.S: "if- a two lettered word for futility" is quoted by Sydney Sheldon in the novel "If tomorrow comes".

இன்னும் தேடுகிறேன்

2008-04-17T10:37:00.010-05:00

My first attempt at a poem in tamil... pls bear with me guys!! please view this in Internet Explorer coz the font will not be visible properly otherwise...

இன்னும் தேடுகிறேன்

உன்னை தேடினேன், பனியாய் குளிர்ந்தாய்
உன்னை தேடினேன், காற்றாய் காதில் வந்து பேசினாய்
உன்னை தேடினேன், அனலாய் எரித்தாய்
உன்னை தேடினேன், மழைத் துளியாய் தொட்டுச் சென்றாய்

உன்னிடம் பேச நினைத்தேன்
கடிதம் அனுப்பட்டுமா என்று எண்ணினேன்
காகிதத்தை எழுதுகோல் முட்டிக்கொண்டு நின்றது
வார்த்தைகள் என்னை ஏமாற்றியது

உன்னை பார்க்க ஏங்கினேன்
உன் முகம் பாராமல் வாடினேன்
நினைவுக்குள் எங்கோ மறைந்திருக்கும் என்று யோசித்தேன்
நினைவும் என்னை ஏமாற்றியது

எழுதுகொலின் நுனியில் துடிக்கிறாயா வார்த்தையே?
சிந்தனையின் எல்லையில் தவிக்கிறாயா சித்திரமே?
இது நிஜமா அல்லது கண் திறந்த கனவா?
நினைவினில் வசிக்கிராயா? நினைவே நீயாகிவிட்டாயா?

கேள்விகளுக்கு பதில் தேடினேன்,
விடையாய் நீயே என் கண்முன் வந்து தோன்றுவாயா?

For all those people who can understand tamil but cannot read tamil font,
here is the "tamil-in-english" version of it

Innum thedugiren

unnai thedinen, paniyaai kulirnthai
unnai thedinen, kattraai kathil vanthu pesinai
unnai thedinen, analaai erithai
unnai thedinen, mazhai thuliyaai thottuch chendrai

unnidam pesa ninaithen
kaditham anupattuma endru enninen?
kagithathai ezhudhukol muttikondu nindrathu
vaarthigal ennai ematriyadhu

unnai paarka enginen
un mugam kanamal vaadinen
ninaivukkul engo maraindhuirukkum endru yosithen
ninaivum ennai ematriyadhu

ezhudhukolin nuniyil thudikkiraaya vaarthaiye?
sindhanayin ellayil thavikiraaya chitirame?
idhu nijama alladhu kan-thirandha kanava?
ninaivinil vasikiraya ? ninave neeyagivittaya?

kelvigalukku badhil thedinen,
vidaiyaai neeye en kanmun vandhu thondruvaaya?

P.S :English translation will come out shortly(After my exams!)

The English translation: Written by Raghu(a poet whose words I literally bow to!)

You, I seek, as ever

You, I sought
the fine mist of your memory cools me
You, I sought
your words come to me on the wind
You, I sought
and am consumed, as if by fire
You, I sought
you, who touched me like a raindrop..

To you, I wished to speak,
countless are the letters I wish to write
yet my pen is an insuperable foe to paper
and words turn into smoke and mirrors...
You, I yearned to see,
missing the light of your face , I wilted
perhaps you hid somewhere in my thoughts,
but even thoughts play magical tricks upon me....

dear word, is it you,
twitching at the edge of my pen?
dear thought, is it you,
lingering on despite all my musings?
reality, is this you?
or do i dream, with my eyes wide open?

do you reside in (my) thoughts?
or have you become thought itself?

Wedding vows...

2008-03-31T09:43:00.007-05:00

“Would you like to read your vows now?” the minister enquired

“Yes I would”, said Preeti.

The first time I walked through these lonely roads
I felt lost and scared
A wave of insecurity swept through me
But then I met you
And I came to realize that,
I had a reason to wake up every single morning
I had a reason to remember dates on the calendar
I had a reason to choose what I am wearing
I had a reason to explore the world
I had a reason to LIVE
All I need from you is the promise that you will be by my side every single day….

And then Joe read out his

Sometimes as I look up into the sky
And see the stars shining ever so brightly upon me,
I wonder, “What did I do to deserve such an angel?”
Somehow, “Forever” seems too small a time
In comparison to the time I want to spend with you…

Years later

She was looking through the window waiting for him. It had become quite a routine for Joe to not come home for days together. The only reason she could wedge out of him was work, work and more work. They hardly saw each other during the weekdays and collaborated the week’s happenings only during the weekends. However during the past few months even that had become difficult. Life’s pace had pretty much taken its toll over them.

The papers were on the table and a sign from him was all that was required to validate their legal separation. She had called his office assistant and left a message for him. She just was as scared as she was on her wedding day. She had opposed pretty much everyone she knew to marry Joe and now she was faced with the very same opposition which was ironically stronger now than ever before.

She knew not whether the decision that she was taking was right or wrong but all she knew was that love had become virtually nonexistent between them. Their relationship had become more of a burden that neither was interested in carrying.

As she packed her bags that night to leave for another city, she still took one piece of paper with her; the wedding vows that they had written for each other. Sometimes echos from the past, however distant they may be, keep ringing in your ears for eternity!

Memories....

2008-01-27T16:16:00.000-06:00

Sitting inside a four walled Box
we look, we see, we stare
People pass by, things move on
You wonder if you still care

She had spent seventy years of her life running behind this elusive wonder called life. She always strived to be the best in every role she had ever adorned, be it a daughter, a wife, a daughter-in-law or a mother. Not one wrong step, not one error in judgment, nothing against the family values, she had been pretty much the embodiment of virtues that youngsters are made to look up to.... yet here she was, all alone, in this white washed room, totally devoid of color and happiness, WAITING.....

"Madam, your son has come to see you"

"I will be there in a minute", she said.

"Hi ma, hope you are doing fine. How are things going on here? if they are not taking care of you well, we can always shift you to another place... it will be done as per your wish", her son stated.

"It's ok. I'm fine. You don't have to go through any extra ounce of trouble on my behalf", she replied, with an undercurrent of mockery in her voice.

Their meeting ended in about half an hour after which her son had to rush to the office. This was not new to her as she encountered the very same experience once every month. Somehow it did not matter to her anymore.

As she sat on one edge of the bed, she was reminded of the first time she had climbed on her neighbor's tree to eat the raw mango, the first time their family had a group photograph taken using the old daguerreotype, the first time she had confided into her mother after having stolen something, the first time she had fallen in love but had to give up in order to marry the guy her parents had chosen, the first time she carried her son in her arms, the first time she had dropped him at school and felt the pangs of separation....

There she stopped, how the cycle of life reinvents itself....

What a double edged sword memories can be! They bring back the days, yet they cannot bring back time. They bring back the voices and shadows, yet they cannot bring the people. They make you smile and cry all at the very same instant. They take you on a time travel, yet they deem you powerless to alter anything. There were still questions ringing in her head....

Does order exist in chaos?
Does chaos exist in order?
Is time absolute?
Is time relative?
Is there an ending?
Was there a beginning?

You wonder, you question, you ponder,
you think, you reason, you chase…
may be we like mysteries in life,
may be that’s why they are still questions....

Mirror, Mirror on the wall! are we still human at all?

2008-01-05T14:03:00.000-06:00

"And reporting from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, this is Hermione... no no Ginny Weasley"... oh how she could never make up her mind when it came to these two characters!! Neeta had been a news devouring little angel from the day she knew how to switch on the television. To her dad she was "Little miss Barkha Dutt" in the making, while her mom thought the only experience every journalist went through was to stand at the border lines and face an array of bullets.

The pager beeped at 2.00 in the morning and somehow it was not very unusual for her. She was used to emergency calls since there were times when news coverage had to be done as early as 4 a.m under extreme weather conditions in places which we thought only existed in maps. But she loved the fact that she was the first person to present that news to the whole world... She was still as excited as the five year old Neeta would be when she was going live on television.

She had to make a call. "Rahul, get the equipments ready... earthquake, at Jabalpur... We have to take a flight to Bhopal and catch a connecting flight to Jabalpur which is available only at 5.30 a.m on any given day. It is difficult to reach there via any other means of transport given this situation and time constraints. We have to leave now!"

It took them approximately 5 hours to reach the actual point of damage... Neeta had witnessed her share of mass killing, riots, disasters and even encounters but this by far seemed the worst. The place was in a state of pandemonium... Buildings had shattered, people were homeless, some were plundering money and jewellery from the people who were already dead among the buried mass of bricks, while some were still breathing beneath all the gravel and awaiting help.

"Well atleast we reached here before the rival news network did", remarked Rahul. She turned around weakly and gave a nod. She was positioning her camera as they had to capture and report the news live with all the extra ounce of packaging material, before the other news network arrived.

And then she saw a small girl covered with multiple bruises crying and looking around helplessly, as if trying to find someone she could recognize among the all the chaos that surrounded her. As Neeta tried to take the child to a safe place and dress those wounds, Rahul cried out "Are you crazy? What are you doing? We are supposed to relay this live, NOW! The other news network is on their way... you are going to get both of us lose our jobs"

"But the child is hurt, she has been badly bruised, she has been searching for her family all through the night, she needs help now. We have got to find someone who can take care of her", pleaded Neeta.

"Chauffeuring kids is not part of my job description but if it matters to you that much, we can always take care of that girl after we have done the required coverage and relayed this news-clip...." said Rahul in such an indifferent tone that it shocked her. A guy who had been her colleague, her friend, her confidant over the past 5 years and now her fiancé, was talking like this. It felt as if she had never known him before and the thought scared her.

May be it was not just about him, may be that’s what the world has come to.... she was surrounded so completely by misery, plunder and the scene of people chopping off a dead woman's hand to rob her ornaments that she was disgusted by the utter disregard to a fellow being’s life and the cynical behaviour of human nature...

Is it worth calling oneself "Human" anymore? she pondered...

Another Rainy day!

2007-12-07T17:12:00.000-06:00

"Can you hurry up? I’m already 15 minutes late for work!" Rohit was yelling at the top of his voice while his wife Neeta was rushing to pack their lunch. After all the last minute checks, they finally stepped out of the house. This was the scenario almost every single day. Somehow they could never step out of the house without engaging in a panic attack.

"Now the Red signal! Man, can anything go right today???", shouted a frustrated Rohit.

"It's ok... we are not as late as we were yesterday. You shouldn't lose your temper so easily. The doctor said it’s not good for your blood pressure", wailed Neeta sitting behind in his Hero Honda, a Bike that he had bought when he was in college. Almost a decade had elapsed since then...

And then it happened... the skies darkened, the clouds gathered and all at once they were drenched in a heavy downpour. The roads were filled with people running here and there to find a shelter and park their vehicles.

"We should have a bought a car. Yeah, this is what I need right now... I will have to sit in the office the whole damn day in these wet clothes and shoes with the project manager breathing down my neck for having been late on a deliverable deadline", Cried Rohit and muttered a silent curse.

Just then his attention was distracted by a girl whom he assumed could not be more than 5 years old. She was holding her mother’s hand and crossing the road, her face tilted towards the sky. Her countenance was lit up with an almost angelic smile as if to say that drenching in the rain had to be best feeling on earth.

It brought back memories.... He was sitting in the college cafeteria with a hot cup of masala chai in his hands. Through the window he could see a girl clutching her umbrella with all her might, lest it should be blown away by the combined brute force of the wind and rain. She came up to him to ask directions that would lead to the freshers classrooms and somehow he knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with this girl.

His face broke into a smile. He had forgotten all that was happening around him at that instant. His anger, his frustration, his impatience, melted away because of that single thought. He turned back and and said "Honey, this bike always needs you as it's pillion rider!"

A brand new day....

2007-11-19T00:37:00.000-06:00

Neeta was sitting on the shores of a beach with the waves flirting with her feet and going all the way back to the sea. It was 5 in the morning; the sky looked as if it was painted to its entirety in a mild scarlet hue. The world had not yet risen but to her it was a beginning, the start of another brand new day.

Today she had come to the waves with a question.... can they answer them? She knew not.... but she had to ask. She remembered the days when she was just 10 years old and her father used to bring her to the beach twice a week.... She had spent all those days building mud castles which to her seemed to be the most important thing to do. When the castles were washed away by water, she would cry out loud and her father would pacify her by buying a candy bar on their way home. Alas here has come a day when we build castles in the air and weep our hearts out when they shatter. In certain aspects, human beings are yet to evolve.

She was not the kind of person who would crib and create a pandemonium for every single trouble that fell at her feet. She lived her life the way she wanted to, without even a belief in any external force to seek refuge at times of need.

But today she could feel the emptiness that surrounded her, there were people all around but no one could fill the vacuum that had possessed her environment. She questioned her existence. It was a simple question... "Why are we on this planet"? How do you define a meaningful life? Does it have to do with achieving fame, success, earning money, being good to people, having a good social life????

And then it happened, the sun rose on the eastern horizon filling the entire sky with light and warmth. It felt as if the sun was trying to convey something to her. That silent minute of conversation between her and the force that sustained life on this earth seemed to envelope her world with answers.

As she walked on the shores of the sea, each footprint of hers were being erased by water. She looked back, smiled to herself and thought "Yes, the journey of life by itself imparts a meaning to life. It may be short-lived; it may be filled with dreams, drenched with sadness, replete with joy, coated with memories.... yet it is miraculous".

Why i write?????

2007-10-25T21:29:00.001-05:00

Tagged by cm-chap!!! here it goes...

“Here’s The Challenge: Make a list of five strengths that you possess as a writer/artist. It’s not really bragging, it’s an honest assessment (forced upon you by this darn meme). Please resist the urge to enumerate your weaknesses, or even mention them in contrast to each strong point you list. Tag four other writers or artists whom you’d like to see share their strengths.”

I thought about the question posed before me and wondered if I could ever come up with an answer. I could just not put the pen to paper and write down five strengths that I possess as a writer but I can state the reason behind the things that I write about. The reason by itself provides strength to my written work.

Sometimes in life, just a thought, a look, a face, a person, a word strikes my mind and a story weaves by itself all around it. As the thought process builds up I can visualize the characters, feel their emotions and know what they are thinking. It is after this stage that the story haunts my every waking moment until I put the thoughts down to paper. When I have finished writing the story, I feel as though I have done justice to my characters.

I don't know if you have ever done this, but if you go and tell a software engineer “Dude don work so hard. What do u get at the end of the day in this 4 walled cubicle?”, he will give you a “I-know-that. Mind-your-own-business” look. However when this question is woven into a story that actually touches a chord in his heart, he will think, he might alter his perception about life or he may not but at least the message will reach him.

It is the innate desire that I have, to tell the world a story and get their stance on what they think about my characters which has pulled me into the blogging world.

If any of you have ever read my blog and empathized with the characters portrayed in it, if I have been able to provide you with insight into what a person placed in that situation feels, if I have been able to help you appreciate life better, then I believe that I have succeeded in what I started out to do in the first place.

I do not consider myself a writer… I’m just a storyteller. I write stories based on the way I see the world…I invite your comments to let me know about your viewpoint too….

I tag

Nivi -Her thoughts and words truly create a symphony

Aniruddha-His imagination knows no bounds

B. Karthik - At times he rambles, at times he makes sense but mostly he is brilliant.

Dhivya- Her stories are short, crisp and yet conveys a world of meaning

The Diverged roads

2007-10-21T12:24:00.000-05:00

is this abstract?

is this concrete?

is this a story?

is this just a musing?

I leave that for you to decide... i jus pen down what haunts me the most

The Diverged Roads

P.S: The quote "You know its..." is by Julia Roberts

Dreams or Reality? Lets play rock, paper, scissors ….

2007-10-13T20:38:00.000-05:00

He had stepped into his house after nearly a decade but somehow nothing seemed to have changed the way of its existence. His mom was in the kitchen, making the morning breakfast while his dad was perusing the morning newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee.

Siddharth was a "normal" software engineer just as any other kid in the block would be. He had always pictured himself doing something extraordinary with his life but never had the time or the courage to take a step forward. He had been working for nothing but money all through his life but today he had made a decision. He had no plans in continuing with his present course of life but it would take all the efforts that would have to be mustered to move a mountain in order to convince his parents.

He made an announcement of his future intentions, "Dad, I have quit my job at New jersey. I am planning to publish a book. I have already discussed about my concept with a publishing company and they have agreed to read my script. I could not speak to you earlier with regard to this only because this was a decision I had to make for myself. No one else could do this for me. I do hope you understand"

"So what do you expect me to say now?" his father asked in a non-committal tone.

"Dad, why don’t you understand that for the first time in my life, I’m doing something that I really want to do? Something that adds value to my life, Something that has been my dream ever since I was a child…", he pleaded.

"All your dreams can’t come true. Life is not a bed of roses, son! If you think you have made me happy with your decision well you have not achieved it. When you were 5 years old, I could order you to walk on the right path... alas you are not that small anymore."

He left as quietly as he had come. He was angry and frustrated at the thought that his dad never understood him.

years later

He had come to take his mom home, to New jersey. As usual, his mom was in the kitchen preparing last minute food but there was no one in the drawing room reading newspaper.

The house radiated emptiness, a forlorn countenance, a feeling of desolation.... as if the four walls knew that someone was not a part of that house anymore. Most of the possessions in the house had been given away to people in need. Hence the bare walls made him feel almost claustrophobic. However he found a tiny scrap of paper sticking out of an old notebook which was placed on top of his mother's suitcase.

The paper read...

Seasons...

The tiny green leaf crept out of its cocoon

and looked up at the resplendent sun

A new hope, a new ray, so dawned a new day

The primrose had woken up from its deep slumber

Dew drops had settled on the ever-green grass

As it does on the first day of every spring

The white of snow had long been lost

The cold and the grey bade goodbye to each other

singing "Happy trails to you until we meet again"

"Oh that belonged to your dad”, his mother came running to pick it up, “he was a struggling author and used to work as a newspaper columnist until he got the government job."

Tears blinded his eyes, as he was holding that piece of paper in his hands. His father had always been protective about him but he had rebelled against that. His father had never wanted him to go through all that he had undergone as a struggler, as a man who pursued his instincts but couldn’t hold on to it, as a man whose dreams were constrained by reality. He had tried his best to shield his son from the heartbreak of shattered dreams.

It was he, who had misunderstood his father....

The moment when TIME plays "Statue"...

2007-10-04T14:22:00.000-05:00

He was at the verge of discovering something. His initial period of formulating the thought process, his primeval years of research and his dogged perseverance were finally about to culminate at a point beyond which there was no looking back. He will have written an equation and modeled a system that could break the time-space continuum. Albert Einstein’s dream was about to blossom into reality.

There was a knock on the door, a familiar voice, a voice that he had not heard for years, a face that he had been yearning to see all through his childhood. There she was standing in his room with a quizzical glance and sad stare as if telling him that he dint classify under her category of "normal" people. She had always taunted him on being a nerd drowned by books. He had never been able to have a conversation with her that lasted for more than 2 minutes. But even after all these years he was still enthralled by her sight and charmed by her child like voice. It was a magic that had never failed to bewitch him.

"Everything happens in accordance to some rule or a logical constraint" was the concept he truly believed in. Being a scientist himself, he had always searched for reasons, for answers to every problem, for action underlined by a thought process that was provoked by pure logic. But she defied everything. To him she was a mystery that he couldn't fathom and he hated to let it be that way. If he were to tell her that he was about to formulate an equation that could create a time machine with which we can travel to the past, she would have merely tilted her head and said "Why would anyone want to do that?” All that mattered to her was the present, this moment and nothing else.

But today her sadness seemed to tell him something more. With a dolorous smile that marked her face as she spoke, she said "the doctor said what he suspected was indeed true. I guess I won’t be here long enough to see you win a Nobel Prize..."

He dropped his pen, as if never to pick it up again. He spent his every waking moment from then on in her company. He took her to places where they had spent most of their time as kids, he made her laugh so hard that she had tears in her eyes, he made sure she never had to regret the sickness that had come over her.

An year later

He had stopped all his research on finding a way to get around time. It dint matter to him anymore. He had finally understood what she meant by living a life rather than being forever on a quest for answers. What is time? What is a second, a minute, an hour? Why do we quantify life? Those questions never again rang in his brain...

Define "LIFE"...

2007-09-20T14:33:00.000-05:00

Is it the warmth of soaking in the morning sunshine?
Is it the ecstasy of getting drenched in first monsoon rain?
Is it the happiness found in a child's milk-toothed smile?
Is it the feel of walking on grass many a mile?

Is it the awe of dreaming and waking up to find it come true?
Is it the smell of mom's coffee freshly brewed?
Is it the measure of profundity that engulfs us when we stare at the sky?
Is it the pleasure of watching a scarlet sunset against the backdrop of twilight?

Is it the beauty of rose petals coated with dew drops?
Is it the innocence found in the friendship of five year olds?
Is it the tenderness of the evening breeze that sings to your heart?
Is it the wonder of watching a zillion diamonds strewn about, called stars?

Is it the nostalgic memories found in reading a long forgotten letter?
Is it the comfort found in knowing that someone somewhere does care?
Is it the peace attained in walking on the silver shores of the sea?
Is it the experience of falling down and getting up with your head held high?

What is life, but truly a miracle of creation...
What is life, if not a never-ending but enchanting exploration?

A lady in white...

2007-09-08T18:22:00.000-05:00

O SOLITUDE! if I must with thee dwell,
Let it not be among the jumbled heap

Of murky buildings; climb with me the steep,...

- John Keats

Solitude is the only plaque that affected this boy who imagined himself to be Harry Potter...

Read on to find out his life story

A lady in white

Somebody's out to get me!

2007-09-05T20:23:00.000-05:00

It's been one month since I have arrived at US and finally I have realised what Calvin means when he says

Hobbes : "Do you think there's a God?"
Calvin : "Well somebody's out to get me!"

Well somebody's out there to get me too!!! wasn't I brought up with this ideal that Chennai was the hottest place on earth???? Well that has been proved wrong... there is a place hotter than Chennai where people walk miles and miles to reach Wal-mart.

However I have seen the spacesuit Neil Armstrong wore when he landed on the moon and what kind of life they lead on the spaceship. A trip to the local space research centre was very informative and almost like the mini Disneyland with roller coasters and g-force rides... we were told that "Harry potter and the order of the phoenix" will be screened in the Imax theatre specially for the University students and we ended up watching "the magic of flight"; a visual replica of Jonathan Livingston Seagull written by Richard Bach.

Remember the existence of a word called "FREE" in the oxford dictionary? well wherever that comes up, u can see all of the Indian graduate students waiting in queues(including me of course!).... free food, free picnic, free chocolates and what not. There used to be(I'm using past tense here) free Hersheys chocolates available outside the admin block when i first stepped into the university... well lets just say they don keep them anymore!

The houses here almost transport you to a bygone era. Sometimes you wonder if you have just set foot upon a day in the past. I never thought houses with such huge lawns and nearly two mammoth sized Christmas trees could exist within the city in this era. just when you have been walking, walking and walking for nearly forty minutes, one of those old ladies watering the grass waves at you and asks "hey how are you doing?"... you begin to wonder if time indeed has stood still in this part of the world(and also you wish she would offer you a cookie!)

Another great thing is the fact that you get to meet people from so many different parts of the world. It gives you a macroscopic view of the world and broadens your perspective about the humankind. We begin to understand the fundamental strengths and abilities that a human being does possess irrespective of the country they hail from.

After a hiatus of nearly 10 years, I'm riding a bicycle to my university since the motto here is "you either have your own means of transport or you die!". Well on the positive side we do have sidewalks to ride or walk unlike in Chennai where platforms only mean platform shopping at T.nagar, which is one of the integral cogs in the Chennai living scenario.

I guess that's enough about me so how have u been doing? :-)

P.S: the pic at the beginning of the blog is a house near my place that i absolutely love.

Life goes on...

2007-08-01T23:15:00.000-05:00

The Sunny road trails along
As the lonely soldier trudges on
Sometimes a friend, at times a foe
At every turn, there awaits a man

Someone in whom he can confide
Someone in whom he can seek respite
Someone who makes him understand loneliness
Someone who teaches him how to share

So many strangers walk in and walk out
It makes you wonder how we recognize one another
it is just as if the waves of the sea knew each other
just when one wave ends the other one begins

Time eludes the young and throttles the old
It soothes the pain of the bygones and heals the loss of the yore
but has an uncanny ability to flit right through your hands
the more you try to hold on .

In retrospection...
Fond memories, precious moments,
A smile, a word, a lost picture is all that lingers
But the thought, the soul, the energy, shines and exudes
through all those people life brings in your way

As the narrow road trails along
New surprises, new experiences are showered upon
As The lonely soldier marches on
There are still many more battles to win, life goes on...

Raise a toast to the Boy who lived!

2007-07-27T11:22:00.000-05:00

We waited, guessed, had premonitions, even tried to predict the ending..... and finally it was unveiled. I'm talking about the one and only "Harry potter and the deathly hallows"

The only thing i did during my flight journey was to read harry potter...You wouldn't believe but there were many other co-passengers doing the same thing. The euphoria, the rush, the hype all has come to a befitting end since i truly believe it could not have been ended in any other way. the good has once again prevailed over evil. Am i reviewing the book??? hmmm may be. I'm just jotting down my opinion about the book and the cult following for this epic.

Somewhere deep inside me, I always knew Snape was a good guy since Dumbledore believed in him. The fact that RAB referred to Regalus and that Dumbledore had truly passed away were also obvious using the clues from her previous books. but the way Harry had to be killed and was made to come back alive all over again was something i just did not expect....The imagination of the author was soaring the skies trying her best to push through the realms of reality and fiction. Somehow at the end i even felt sorry for Severus!(The first time i have ever felt that for him)

I'm glad the book did not entertain certain rumors i had heard such as Harry was the grandson of lord Voldemort or lily was a death eater who turned her back towards You-know-who etc. J.K.Rowling has proved yet again that she is truly the master of the world she has created. its funny that just as harry, we never thought of Dumbledore as a teenager either, atleast i never did.... "its as strange as imagining a polite blast ending skrewt-J.K.Rowling", that really cracked me up.

Im eternaly grateful to Rowling for the fact that she did not venture to kill Ron, Hermoine, Neville or Harry. The last few pages that dealt with their kids was as cute as ever. Wish she would write many more in this series but somehow its like the end of an era. With mixed feelings of both joy(Since goodness prevails) and sorrow(since the story has ended) I bid farewell to Harry Potter, The Boy who lived!

TAGGED!

2007-07-17T23:28:00.000-05:00

Been tagged by Santosh! Hope you guys enjoy this non-sarcastic, honest portrayal of my self(I can see that expression of mistrust on your face!)...

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it?
Which one to pick??? I fall down ever so often!( my friends can vouch for that! ) So many to get nominated but the one I pick is the scar on my right index finger. I got hurt while trying to sharpen my pencil with a blade in my third standard and it is still there.

2. What does your phone look like?
My phone looks like an antique piece that is currently out of production. It is a Nokia 2300 which I bought for 5k some 3 years back. It’s white display was the “in” thing in those days…I have not yet changed it coz I believe it reminds me of simpler times(Well I wanna get an apple iphone but just waiting for the prices to come down)

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?
If this question was put forth to me some 4 years back I would have said “17 posters of Hrithik Roshan” but now all I have is a calendar and a picture of Porsche carrera GT(I dream about getting it someday)

4. What is your current desktop picture?

Always Calvin n Hobbes....

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?
I dont judge others. Each person is the judge of their own decisions.

6. What do you want more than anything right now?
I wanna get finished with packing, shopping, packing, shopping, packing, shopping…..

7. What time were you born?
Sometime after 12 in night on 24th of February (so technically 25th)… My dad didn’t even know that I was born until the next day morning. So no one actually timed it :-)

8. Are your parents still together?
Yup

9. Last person who made you cry?
I don wanna name! Actually I don’t cry that easily…I consider myself emotionally strong

10. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?
Hmmm instead of answering that I would just like to say, I like the smell that arises out of the soil when the first drop of rain touches it. I like the smell of the sea… I like the smell of fresh cut grass and that of red roses. These things can never be manufactured in a bottle. They are natures own gift to mankind.

11. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?
Black… I find the other colors artificial

12. What are you listening to?
Lag ja gale…. An old hindi song that I listen to almost twice everyday.

13. Do you get scared of the dark?
Yes I do. The dark is always synonymous with the unknown and unseen… may be that stirs the fear buried deep within me. In one way though It also inspires man to go further in his insatiable quest for the unknown.

14. Do you like pain killers?
This should have been rephrased as do you like pain… And the answer would have been an emphatic NO. Why should there be so much of suffering in this world when life by itself is so short? I believe in living your life to the fullest, enjoying every second of the one life that you have in your hands. If I could distribute pain alleviating medicines to all the people in the world who are suffering, I WOULD!

15. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
I guess I have grown out of it!

16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
Aloo paratha, with melting butter on top of it.

17. Who was the last person you made mad?
I guess I make a lot of people mad…. first and foremost my mom :-)

18. Is anyone in love with you?
I wouldn’t know…. This question should be asked to the person who is actually in love with me.

I would like to tag Nivi, Aditya, Ramesh, Cm-chap and Princess banter :-)

There lay an angel!

2007-07-12T13:55:00.000-05:00

Is this poetry? is this prose? I know not the answer for this riddle...but the words poured out and I couldn't help it.

There lay an angel...

Her eyes sought some long lost picture
But all she could see were people moving along,
Dilapidated buildings and crowded markets.
She could look at the whole wide world
But the world could see only her eyes….
Only a pair of green emeralds, glittering at times with grief.

Did she ever feel pleasure or pain?
No one could make a guess,
Her stoic countenance never gave much away.
She had lost touch with herself
The past still hung upon her present
As a shadow that frightened away happiness.

The wind brushed across her face,
As if to wipe away tears that had never once been shed.
The birds sang to comfort her soul,
The waves rose high to fill her heart with hope,
Alas it was too late!
She was oblivious to the term “everything-around-her”

A lonely soldier marching up the highland
Had once been enshrined in her heart.
She wanted to see him just one last time
Since she knew she will not live long.
She had travelled all this distance and crossed the seas,
To see the one face in which she could seek peace.

Her eyes met his,
Her purpose thus fulfilled and heart appeased,
She lay in a dreamless sleep…as if never to awaken.
That night, as the first snow flake kissed her face
"There lay an angel", the flake told her friends,
"whose soul was truly blessed!"

In love all over again!

2007-07-10T01:55:00.000-05:00

Can a piece of human invention take your heart away????

apparently it can....

I was watching an episode from "The wonder years" yesterday, depicting a scene from the Christmas of 1968, where the Kevin family is astounded by this new invention called "Color tv". Kevin tries to put in as much tact as possible while thinking of ways to open up this topic of discussion while just at the "wrong" minute his elder brother says, " so dad are u gonna get us that color tv or not?".... and there goes the eternal dream!!phut!

I remembered the first time we got color tv, way back in the early 90's....I recall telling my mom "everything looks so life like!"

It's been forty years since that fiasco in wonder years and exactly the same scene occurs in our homes when we have been bowled over and have fallen head over heels in love with an electronic gadget. The gadget in question here is a laptop.... after having worked on a 128mb ram system for over 6 years with XP os that takes 10 minutes to boot up and 5 minutes to open up yahoo messenger you can imagine my look of wonder filled with astonishment at this wireless 1GB ram system...

The wired mire that exists behind my computer table almost resembles the EB wires hanging all over Chennai in such a hap hazard way that going through it to find a particular wire is like going through a quicksand made of sea weeds in a desert...you take a particular end of a wire in your hand and fish through the rest to see if you can find a remote possibility of it being connected with the computer. Just when you wanna say "hurray! yippee! eureka", you either trip on something and fall down or have an electric shock that makes you decide "never to get behind that computer".... but then again the show must go on, you end up doing the same thing the next day!

Going wireless almost feels like I have made a direct leap from the neanderthal man of the stone age to the modern man of the scientific age...if anyone cares to disagree I'm gonna clobber them with a club! On a totally serious note, its not fair to say girls don't like gadgets. Out of the five things that I cant imagine my life without, 3 are gadgets(computer,mobile and ipod)...

It does take a little while to get accustomed to the keys(insert, delete, ctrl c, ctrl v, where are they?) and the fact that it operates at a supersonic jet speed because of which the reason for all my late submissions cannot be my computer(its not me, its my computer!)

by the way Kevin family did get their color tv but only 2 years later....I guess that's when his elder brother moved out!

Cookery lessons!

2007-07-03T23:05:00.000-05:00

She look'd down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack'd from side to side;
"The curse is come upon me," cried
The Lady of Shalott.
-Alfred Tennyson

The doom has come upon me too. The prophetic revelation of apocalypse has come true!! If you are thinking this is one of my murder mysteries, well I'm warning you this could become one.

My Mom told me yesterday that it’s high time I start cooking! Well I can start it but the end result would be something of a cross between baking, deep-frying, boiling and burning. of course I can make noodles with a lot of panache and style(uniquely my own). I would take nearly anything and everything I can lay my hands on in the kitchen and throw it in the boiling stew. From butter to corn flour, soup powder to chaat masala, nearly everything will be there in the noodles except of course vegetables, I have still not learned to chop. Now don't you regard me with that derisive stare of yours!

Being in the software industry for the past 2 years I have learnt to face extremely trying circumstances, difficult people and harsh deadlines because of which I have been able to dust off the fears that I possessed as a novice. But cooking to me is quite scary. To quote certain instances, consider the scenario of boiling milk, you never know exactly when to switch off the stove. You don't know if it’s done until the milk rises out of the container or just when it starts rising. When I stand there, almost 10 seconds would go in making this decision ("will the bomb burst now? Will it not?") At the end of which the milk would have spilled out of the container on to the stove and my mom would come running with some expletives which I will not be revealing in order to preserve the tiny blotch of self-dignity that I possess.

She often says, "You have done a B.E. Cant you even boil milk?” Good logic! But flawed argument, almost equaling casuistry. The fact being, in software everything has proper guidelines, in engineering if you get above 50% you pass, these things abide by certain rules, whereas cooking seems to have no rules. No one tells me exactly how much salt or sugar to put and what could be worse "they look the same!” Ever watched a cookery show on television? I used to think they quantify things so it must be easy for me to learn from it.... well for starters I have no clue about the names they attribute to the ingredients we use at home. They use 100 different teeny tiny ingredients that you may not have even seen ever in your life. Now the only thing that looms in my mind at the end of the show is "Why? Why god why? Why me?"

So the only thing that could salvage my reputation and save me from the verge of death due to starvation and mockery is “I like noodles! That’s why I make only noodles"(So not true! but I gotta live!)

In the meanwhile, my future plan (may be in about 20 years!) is to learn to make cookie, brownie, garlic bread and chocolate cake. When I announced my cooking intentions ever so enthusiastically to mom, she laughed. Well I'm sure basics like boiling milk could be handled by anyone, I'm gonna go on to do bigger and greater things (just to bolster up my pride a little! no offence meant). Until then “Noodles! Thou art my only companion!"

Adieu I had to say to thee

2007-06-30T11:22:00.000-05:00

Adieu i had to say to thee,
The one who gave me love beyond all measures!

She crossed the threshold with a heavy heart. She knew that it was the last time she would walk through those empty corridors, An echo seemed to resound from her heart "Don't go!". There was no way she could put an effort to listen to it. All plans had been made, she was going in search of a better world, to gain knowledge, to pursue better things in life, and her mind told her that this sadness was unnecessary on her part. But her heart couldn't think!

It could only recall memories. It’s a funny thing "Life"! , as we get older we want to hang on to our past memories and old friends...When we are young we never feel the need to hold on to anything. When she changed her school from fifth standard to sixth she had not felt this deep sadness enveloping her from all sides, when she left school for college education she had not experienced this....then why NOW? "Am I becoming old?" she thought to herself, "why am I clinging on to everything here when I myself have often said that life couldn't get any worse than working in this place?"....

There have been many a time when she thought she was just going to die breaking her head on the keyboard for the amount of work she was loaded with. She hated the appraisal politics, the work shirkers and worst of all people who just dumped work on you mindlessly and went away for the weekend. But somehow the emotion called "Love" has always had a stronger hand over "Hate". She had been surrounded by people who had been innately good. Of course that realization always hits you late and hard!!

There had been times like those in her father’s days when people used to work together for 35 years then sought retirement from work and still kept in touch but in the current working conditions working together for even 2 years was quite an achievement. Everything is so fast paced where people keep coming and going out of our lives, while very few leave imprints in our hearts. She counted her friends as one of those few…. It is so hard to meet good people, that too to meet people who actually understand you and take good care of you is something very few are destined to get.

As she was about to board that plane, she hugged each one of them so tight that she just did not want to let go. She just wanted to stand there and talk for hours, but a lump formed in her throat and she was unable to utter even a single word. They reassured her by saying that they were only a click away…

Whoever said that human beings have become more like robots running only after money has never been proved more wrong coz when she saw her friends for one last time she knew there existed an intangible bond that could never be broken.

P.S: This blog is dedicated to all my friends at chennai whom i ll miss once i go to Alabama!

An ode to the city I call HOME

2007-06-26T02:29:00.000-05:00

To meet, to know, to love and then to part,
is the saddest tale of many a human heart

- Anonymous

Adieu, Adiós, Sayonara, Alvida, khuda hafiz.....Goodbye!!

This is not a post that talks about how much I hate to say a farewell, since I am leaving for US in a month from now, but this post is about the 10 best things I have always liked about Chennai... a city that has pretty much given me everything!

1. The Beach

Yeah that’s right Asia's longest beach tops my list.... one of the best hangouts at Chennai and its FREE!! No entry fee! Unless of course u wanna have food at planet yum... but the best time to see the beach is under the starry sky, makes you wonder at nature's profound never-ending miracles. Be it marina, Besant Nagar, Mahabalipuram or a private beach at one of the ECR resorts, these sandy shores are just an hours drive from anywhere within the city. Where else would you get this luxury???

2. The Temples

This city has never lost its old world charm. Though we have paved the way for IT revolution we still abide by and coexist with tradition...That’s one of the most charming things about this city. We still have famous temples such as Kapaleeswarar temple, Shri Parathasarathy temple and Vadapalanai temple which are visited on almost all auspicious occasions. Some of the temples are even as old as 1000 years but our everyday lives still revolve around these architectural wonders of the yester years and in a way we are proud of our rich cultural and literary tradition.

3. Shopping

Chennai is truly a shoppers paradise... shoppers stop, Globus, our very own pondy bazaar(where a 500 rs item can be bought for 50 rs if you know how to haggle) and i don even have to mention Spencer Plaza which has been here for over a 100 years now has become quite the nickname of Chennai. Of course if you get into one of these places u really can’t come out but it’s a great hangout anyways and one of Chennai’s specialties ... within a radius of about 2 kms T.Nagar has almost anything and everything you will ever need in your whole life.

4. Multi cuisine food

Be it saravana bhavan or subway, Sangeetha or little italy...you get almost any cuisine here and truly the best of them. Although nothing can really beat a Ghee roast or hot hot idlies with sambar.... No wonder Indian food is still considered a delicacy in many countries. Sometimes i get the feeling our kind of cooking involves 100 different ingredients and to make three courses of such food items, each cooked in a different style, truly involves humungous amount of time and effort....Never know how our moms manage it. havent asked her about it coz im afraid she will say "No its not that hard. Why don u give it a shot?"

5. Bustling with life

I have never seen a city more alive and bustling with life as Chennai is( haven’t seen Mumbai though) . Life on the roads starts as early as 4 am when the milk van makes a round of the city....at around 5 am, school students start going for tuitions classes. By 9.30 the traffic reaches such levels that you are forced to drive through the roads inch by inch until you reach the destination....I will miss Chennai’s traffic the most….it kinda wakes u up from sleep on your way to the office :-)

6. Filter coffee

Chennaiites are coffee lovers....We like coffee even in our desserts (Tiramisu :-)). Ever since I was 3 yrs old the first thing I have seen in the morning is my dad having a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper. We have lots of cafes springing up all over the place but nothing can take the place of a well brewed hot hot cup of filter coffee that my mom makes early in the morning.....

7. Cinema

Cinema is very much a part of every chennaite's life....We wait months for the release of a movie and even pay hundreds to catch the first day first show amidst all the fan frenzy atmosphere in the theatre...but gone are the days when going to a movie meant standing in queue for hours to get a ticket. Everything has become simpler with the advent of internet. Theatres have become a lot more customer friendly and multiplexes cater to almost everybody’s taste in entertainment. Though the food items are atrociously expensive, watching a movie has become more of an experience to savor.....

8. Auto

Boon or a bane, they are here to stay. Nothing to beat an auto ride through Chennai’s very own tortuous roads filled with potholes on a rainy day. No one can stop them from asking almost triple the usual cost if they find out you are new to Chennai....but some are very interesting to talk to. Some really have an opinion on almost everything. I have even come across an auto driver who has a light music troupe and goes to Malaysia for singing.... but one thing is for sure, any day, anytime you walk out of your home, you can hail an auto to reach any destination(as long as you are ready to pay them!)

Whether you love them or hate them you just can’t ignore them! :-)

9. Rains

Rains????? In Chennai??? You might wonder if that’s a joke.....Accepted they are very rare and far in-between but we do enjoy rains when it pours down. I still remember my schooldays when they used to let us off early due to rains and we used walk with a schoolbag and a raincoat, play in the puddle, get drenched in the downpour, watch the weather report at home and pray fervently that we should have a cyclone the next day so that all schools will be on leave.... Of course there might be power cuts during rains but then u have electricity everyday, rains come only once in a blue moon...so savor it when it comes!

10. People

All through the hustle and bustle of everyday life, if only we take the time to look around us at an autowallah or the flower vendor we can understand what life is truly all about.... most of them I have spoken to have come to Chennai in search of jobs, to earn a living. I think that’s one of the remarkable characteristics about this city. For the past 200 years people have been pouring into this city in search of a better life, in pursuit of happiness and have made this place what it is today. It is truly incredible that these people have still not lost touch with their roots. They have not forgotten to smile and lend a helping hand….

Many still crib about life being difficult in this metropolitan with the crowd, competition and hectic life schedule but I would only say "What’s life without a little challenge? Can we do without a pinch of salt in our food? Then why shirk it when it comes to life as a bigger picture?!!!"

The old chennai (mount road in 1905)

Chennai now (current view of mount road)

A Sweet Poison

2007-06-22T01:45:00.000-05:00

I seem to have loved you,
In numberless forms, numberless times,
In life after life, in age after age forever.
My spell-bound heart has made and
re-made the necklace of songs
That you take as a gift,
wear round your neck in your many forms,
In life after life, in age after age forever.

-Rabindranath Tagore

Quoted above is an extract from one of my favorite poems. All I have to say is that it can also act as a sweet poison! Read on to find out how?

A Sweet Poison

The defect hoopla

2007-06-18T23:41:00.000-05:00

He was just dragging his legs towards the "Gallows"...was he going to be hung for his mistakes or derided in front of his own people or banished forever???!!. The scene described here ironically refers to the emotions felt by Rohit, a software developer whose code had a bug and meeting was called forth to describe how this situation could have been averted. He was musing over all possible lines of defence he could take. His options were "I did not send that mail", "I did not code that function", "someone tampered with my computer", in final desperation he also wanted to shout "Earthquake people run!! run for your lives!"...

He expected the room to be filled with gleeful spectators waiting to see the lion slay the man as in the roman times...He felt indignant and made an oath to himself that he will never help any of those people with their code ever again! This was not even his first choice.He was one of those people caught up in this giant spider web of deceit.

He remembered how huge the corridors had looked when he first stepped into the company. The Business Unit head had personally addressed him and said he was being offered this splendid opportunity of working on such cutting edge high-end technology which will provide him with ample opportunities to broaden his technical skill-set and further explore the managerial abilities buried deep inside him!!(abyss would have been a favorable word)....if someone came up to him and said that dialogue now, he would slap that guy and say "Yeah right!"... but then we are all novices at some point in our lives.

Moving on from one lousy and supposedly high-end project to another he had finally hit upon a project where the skills obtained could actually be put down on his resume(apart from Microsoft word, excel and powerpoint)...but he had ruined this for himself. The mistake not exactly being only his, still cost him his self-dignity, something that he still possessed or atleast thought he did. And then it hit him, a brainwave, could it work??

It was only him and the manager.... apparently not everyone was invited to this defect hoopla. He told the manager "Sharath, I'm quitting!".The expression on his manager's face "PRICELESS!".

Sharath(now almost falling from his chair): Oh what caused this sudden decision on your part?

Rohit: Well the working ethics of this project coupled with the stress of forestalling defects and managing time constrained deliveries do not confirm with what I expect from a project"

(Rohit gave a self satisfied smug look that seemed to say "Yeah I have learnt to say such stuff too").

Sharath: Er...Ehem...(say something!anything!) But you are one of our most enterprising employees... we cannot afford to lose you.

Rohit: But the consequences of this particular defect has shown me that may not be a the case.(He hazarded this statement not knowing what it might provoke!)

Sharath: I'm extremely impressed at your being such a responsible person. you are the cog that holds this team together

Rohit: It has come to my hearing that Clientele were misinformed about my work and are not happy about it?

Sharath: You shouldn't believe all that you hear. On the contrary I'm just sending them a mail informing about your latest responsibilities and discussing about your onsite opportunities

Rohit: Well will this mistake be taken up during my appraisal?(gaining confidence with every question!)

Sharath: Say no more...these things happen in a project.I give you my word it will not affect your appraisal. I have personally done bigger mistakes and escaped scott free(with a sheepish grin!)

Rohit: (Of course you did n you still do!) Well my personal life has taken a toll since I started working on this project

Sharath: Oh I totally understand...take a week off!! go for a vacation and lets not hear about this resignation any more.Keep up your good work....

Rohit: Sure!!!(he had formulated a new all-in-all strategy! Success sure is sweet!)

A story left unsaid...

2007-06-11T07:37:00.000-05:00

The sands of time had long since passed
Some inexplicable loss, her heart still possessed
that verses of music and drops of rain could not lessen..
As she wondered when would he ever return?

Every nation was at the knifes edge
It was a flame that no one could assuage
Soldiers had left home to defend their country
sadly aware that coming back may never be a fortuity

She said to herself that she will not weep
There were still great many promises to keep
which they had made with a tear and a smile
some 20 years back, as they had walked down the aisle

Her two beautiful angels were her only solace
a pillar of strength in whom she sought peace
The days went on and Seasons had passed
Will he ever come home? to herself, she oft asked

One day a miracle had taken place,the war had ceased
array of proud soldiers marched towards their crease
there was festivity in the air
coupled with all the Christmas cheer!

when his voice chanted "To all a Merry Christmas!"
The house reverberated full of life with joy and happiness...

LIFE!! is it worthwhile?

2007-06-06T09:47:00.000-05:00

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."
- Martin Luther jr

As she looked out of her window, she saw children playing in the garden, some anxious faces talking to each other, some elderly people taking brisk walks...she thought to herself "Life... so ironic, the more it challenges to frustrate and trouble us, the more we try to hold on to it!". It has its own pits and falls, stretches of smooth roads, yet the journey is worthwhile...or is it???

She had been a Software Engineer, as each one of her friends....She had trudged upon the road most frequently traveled. It had been days before she had called up her college friends with whom she had spent the happiest days of her life yet not one day did she complain about it because she believed she was doing something worthwhile with her life...

"Worthwhile!!! Humbug!!"- Uncle scrooge would have said...

And then one day she met with an accident, an accident that changed her perspective on life, its beauty and purpose. All along what lakhs of money had not taught her, an accident because of which she had lost almost everything (including her job) did. The first time she sat in that wheelchair, nothing seemed more monstrous an idea. However, gradually as it became her best friend, she started to stroll along, meet people and probably for the first time in her life she started to look at what surrounded her.... each dawn of a day, each Sunset, each ray of Moonlight and each raindrop seemed to touch her and say "Life is indeed beautiful!!! Hope is just around the corner"

The nurses who took care of her day and night, the ward boy who brought flowers for her every single day with a beaming smile seemed to have more fulfilling lives than she ever did…

She felt enlivened, energized, invigorated at the thought that someday she will be able to run in the sands of the beach, run as if wind was chasing her or jump out in ecstatic joy… things that she had never done when she was sitting before the Computer almost 16hrs a day ...it was then she made a decision that she will bring a smile upon every face she sees and help in the betterment of atleast one life a day. Then "Life will be truly worthwhile!!!"

One sport, one race, ONE CHAMPION!

2007-05-27T06:02:00.000-05:00

The car zoomed, it was a dangerous turn but he had to overtake in order to win the race, this being the very last lap…the two had been within a time gap of 0.8 to 0.6 seconds throughout the race. The constructors had a lot in stake on the two drivers. They were literally battling for their championship points and then it happened. Ray’s car rammed into the side wall, toppled, somersaulted and burst into flames. The crowd was shocked into a minute’s silence. F1 had lost its pride. Racing world had lost its idol…Ray Chiefield was dead!

After the initial shock, the question how it happened seemed to air on every news channel. Theories propounded were innumerous and some highly ridiculous. On one channel the newsreader was saying it was due to a leak in the fuel tank and another was saying that there was some problem with the steering assembly which the constructors were denying vehemently as they obviously wanted to safeguard their position. Another reporter stated that it might have been due to Ray’s reckless overtaking maneuver which had brought about his own doom.

Somehow no answer seemed conclusive enough to wrap up the case as an accident. Marc Wimbledon a well known detective in Canada was an onlooker in the racing stadium at Monaco and his thoughts were attuned towards the reason behind this terrible tragedy. Why the final lap? Was the question currently preying his mind as he felt if there was a problem with the car it should have become evident at the start of the race and not at the end. As far as he knew his friend, Ray Chiefield loved life too much to make a daredevil or reckless driving maneuver.

He wondered if anyone could have rigged the car during the last phase of this race. The car had raced on a 3 stop strategy for those 78 laps where the last stop had lasted for 8 seconds since they had to add enough fuel to last for the last 15 laps and were trying their best to keep the vehicle light. Marc made several rounds of interviews with the pit crew to check if they had noted anything out of ordinary but somehow no one seemed to have observed anything.

Ray’s will had left everything in his possession to his newly wedded wife Cherry Chiefield which amounted to nearly 50 million dollars in cash and various other properties in US. So technically she had the motive but where was the opportunity? A question Marc couldn’t answer. Ray’s death prompted the test driver of his team to take up the part of a main driver in the coming races…but could this be motive enough to plan a cold blooded murder? The rival team also benefited a great deal by way of sponsorship and surety of winning the championship…yet he had to assemble his thoughts and search for clues.

A week later a pit crew member, belonging to the Team Ray had raced for, disappeared without a trace. His friends thought he had some shady deal going on as had just bought a brand new car and deposited 10,000 dollars to his account in the bank. Marc thought to himself “Yes, blackmailing is a dangerous game!” But they could not furnish him with anymore information… His body was later found chloroformed and strangled on a deserted pathway near the Local church with no eyewitnesses, fingerprints or evidence whatsoever.

On questioning the late race car driver’s model-turned-actress wife Cherry Chiefield he could feel the personal magnetism that was portrayed exceptionally well on the screen; the charm in her manner was unmistakable. Somehow he couldn’t suspect those innocent eyes. She did mention he had been nervous and high strung lately but she had just attributed it to the fact that there was a championship to win and this could have been his last as he was planning to retire from racing the next year. “But he was only 28 years old”, said Marc “Yes, I assume he was not getting along with the new crew lead for his team and was interested in another line of business” replied Cherry, as a mater of fact.

Marc now had three motives his wife Cherry, his crew lead, his rival team and a second murder but didn’t possess a shred of evidence. The next race was to be held in Montreal, Canada which Marc didn’t want to miss it as it was being held in his home country and he was a huge F1 fan. The commentator was yelling at the top his voice during the second pit stop of one of the drivers saying “changing one’s gloves has become quite a fashion statement nowadays though I have no idea why they do that…May be some sentimental value as I have seen the late Ray Cheifield do that often”…As if a brainwave had hit him Marc went to the police and inquired about Ray’s belongings…Whatever he had worn on that terrible D-day. He examined one of the gloves and found a minute thorn which on further examination proved to be an extremely poisonous species. The inspector, astounded as he was, asked Marc “how on earth could you find that”. Marc answered quite unwaveringly “because I was looking for it!”

By mere chance he found Cherry walking along the pathway beside the Church where the body from the second murder had been found. Marc went up to her and asked, “did any of the pit crew personnel try to get further information from you regarding Ray?”, Cherry was quite fascinated by his question and replied “Why yes a man suddenly stole up behind me and asked me regarding Ray’s driving costume, it gave me such a shock!!! But I told him it must be with the police”. Marc had found out what he had started out for….he left towards the famous automobile company that literally dominated the racing track and requested an appointment with their crew lead.

“You had to win because your company is quite on the rocks and knew you couldn’t as long as Ray existed. You tried creating minor friction between Ray and his team hoping that he would join yours but when that did not work you planned a murder like no other. You kept the thorn in his gloves and made sure the car burst into flames by tampering with the fuel cap…and for all this you bribed one of the team members and murdered him later on when your purpose was achieved!!!” said Marc. “Yes I did!!! But I dare you to find any evidence incriminating me”.

“You know it’s a great invention these tape recorders!” said Marc and gave a huge smile as the inspector came in and handcuffed Mr.Gary Stevens. There was just one question Marc wanted to ask him “Why the final pit stop?” Gary said “Well I wouldn’t have killed him if he had not been so close to victory!!!”

Disclaimer: The story and the characters used in this blog are completely fictitious

P.S: This blog is dedicated to my all time favorite F1 champion Michael Schumacher!!

Come, Fly with me into the future!

2007-05-24T05:18:00.000-05:00

The year on the calendar was 2150; he was staring through the glass pane on the day of his grand-father’s funeral, or rather the day of mourning for the one man who had achieved his dream of unifying the world under one government, as one world nation. He had not witnessed the plights of millions of fighters from the world over who fought for justice against economic oppression and politilical supremacy. He had been born 20 years after the unification process and even now found it difficult to grasp the concepts of boundaries and bondage. Though these words were quite alien to the world that surrounded him at present, he understood the difficulties his own grandparents had faced through the numerous bed side stories he had heard.

A lot had changed in the past 50 years since the world government for which his grandfather Mr.Swaminathan, whose ancestors and cultural values were deep rooted in the heart of TamilNadu, became one among the board of world presidents. Over the past 200 years humanity had witnessed thousands of incidents which can only be classified as nature’s wrath against humanity. The Economic conquerors were not able to mitigate the sufferings faced by their countrymen. The greater the number of disasters, humanity started to raise its head. It was as if God had taught them a lesson and made them realize that a human being was more valuable than a robot.

That very night he was going to travel to a place called “Madurai”, to study ancient Tamil literature and culture. Studying history and archeology were like going to a theatre after the invention of time machines…of course you will not able to change anything as it was just a screen image and you could only act as an observer. Research laboratories on the moon were still working on finding the ultimate means of breaking the time space continuum proposed by the genius of the first millennium, Albert Einstein.

He was on his way to the jewellery shop, the one thing he felt would never change as long as women inhabited earth. Tonight he was going to propose to the girl he had first fallen in love with. He felt as nervous as Oliver felt while proposing to Jennifer in “love story” by Erich Segal, a renowned classic by now! He had butterflies in his stomach and was even rehearsing his lines and posture. Adit or “Kennedy”,as his grandpa fondly called him realized that the only thing that will remain unchanged forever, transcending time and surmounting the plights of reality is the feeling called love.

A million dollar answer!!(contd from my prev blog)

2007-05-21T02:54:00.000-05:00

Marc made enquiries about the lady who had claimed to be Mr.Martini’s wife but was not able to find her anywhere in Canada. A week later one of the news articles which the editor had deemed to be not very prominent in content read something like this “Ms.Lucille Royale, murdered in a train!” and the article further went on to say that Ms.Lucille was a small time stage actress and was going on the train enroute to Europe to join her stage troupe for their latest play. Her friends came forward to recognize her but could not throw any light on why she had been stabbed and murdered. One of her friends also stated that she had been to Canada on a Vacation.

Marc immediately left to the place where the murder had taken place. The French police were amiable enough to brief him about the murder and further pointed out that the lady had a piece of paper clutched in the palm of her hand. Marc at once recognized the lady as the one who had claimed to be Mr.Martini’s wife and clutched in her hand was a piece of the fake marriage certificate.

In his mind, he knew what had happened but there was no shred of evidence. He will have to force out a confession.

The room consisted of three people, the inspector, Marc and the doctor who had given Mr.Martini the eye drops. Marc said “I have a confession statement here signed by Ms.Lucille stating that you have killed Mr.Martini and further gave her instructions to act the part of the dead man’s wife”. “This is blasphemous!!” cried out the doctor “I am a doctor of very good reputation and you are trying to tarnish it by making such uncalled for ridiculous statements. I do not know anyone named Ms.Lucille”. Marc further showed him the confession statement and said “This evidence is enough for a jury to convict you!”

“How is this possible”, the doctor protested “I did not tell her-” his face became contorted. He realized his game was up and confessed to the crime. The man named Mr.Martini had somehow come into the knowledge of one his previous crimes and was blackmailing the doctor for money. The doctor assented once or twice and then decided to put an end to it. He made a call to the hotel reception stating he was Mr.Martini and that he required a doctor’s attention immediately. He went into his blackmailer’s room in the pretext of talking things out and stealthily put 2 drops of eye drops in a glass of water available by his bedside without catching his notice. While leaving, he also left the eye drops on the table beside his bed.

After about a month when the police were still not convinced, he paid an actress to come to Canada with a fake marriage certificate and act the part of a grieving wife, further affirming his weak heart. He had not told her about the crime committed but paid her well for the part and for keeping her silence. However the thought that she might resort to blackmailing kept haunting him, driven by two successful murders he committed the third one.

The inspector was literally beaming at Marc since he had got all the laurels and appreciation for this case and told Marc “It is a good thing you got that girl to confess!”

Marc smiled and said “It was a fake document…just like the marriage certificate”.

P.S: imagine this story to have taken place in Canada in 1960's...
Disclaimer:This story is not based on any person alive or dead or any true incident...

A million dollar question...!!

2007-05-20T05:40:00.000-05:00

The man clutched his heart, swayed side forth and fell down after knocking the door of the well known detective Mr.Marc Wimbledon.

As Marc opened the door, all he could fathom was that a man was dead outside his room and had tried to seek his help at the very last minute. He called for the hotel manager who sent a word to the police and then examined the unknown man’s belongings to find his identity. The man had possessed no more than a few visiting cards, a key and some unsettled old bills. On further interrogation with the hotel staff, he found that the man’s name was Mr.Martini Gonzalez. He was staying in the very same hotel and had asked for a doctor to be sent to him some hours back. The doctor who had attended to him amiably answered all the questions put forth by the inspector. Apparently the patient had complained of some eye irritation for which the doctor had prescribed eye-drops after which they had had a chat about the local weather, news etc. The doctor could not understand what might have been the cause for this sudden death. He could only put it down to a sudden massive Heart attack....

Marc was not convinced. Why? Simply because the man’s eye seemed perfectly alright but the eye-drops prescribed by the doctor was opened, there was only half a glass of water by his bedside, the window sill was perfectly locked on the inside and his shoes were unsightly to look at (not to mention his clothes). The opportunities were numerous considering he had not locked his door; it could have been any one of the hotel staff or even a total outsider. But the motive and the method were not to be found. There was absolutely no evidence to be gained from the room. At the ungodly hour that this death had taken place, there was no eyewitness either.

Marc tried his best to elicit information from various sources but could not trace the man’s roots. At last after about a month, a lady with droopy eyes, draped in black came forward and told the police that the man, Mr.Martini Gonzalez, was her husband and that they had been married for the past 20 years. She produced a marriage certificate to prove her claim and also accepted that Mr.Martini had been suffering with a heart ailment for the past 10 years and had come to Canada for a business transaction.

The police had not yet found any evidence to point towards murder or in refutation to the lady’s statements. The lady, with innocent wonder her eyes, meekly said her husband did not have any enemies in the world and apologized for not having been informed about this sad news earlier. So the death was attributed to heart attack due to normal causes and the case was considered closed by the police.

Marc was still unconvinced.

The question I put forth to you is that…can you guess what actually caused the death of this unknown man?? Was it due to natural causes or was it a premeditated murder? If so how was it carried out?

P.S: the ending of the story will be out soon….

Whoa!!! Finally I reached office...

2007-05-16T00:17:00.000-05:00

"Whoa!!! Finally I reached office..."

Let me start at the beginning. The day began with a power cut and I had arouse myself from what seemed to me like midnight (it was 6 in the morn!) from a dream where I was rescuing someone from the last piece of Antarctica which was drowning due to global warming. If you r are saying "Yeah right!", well I cant help it, my dreams are a teeny-weeny bit more fantastic than reality....

For all those people as lazy as I am, for those people who think spending time and money on gym is atrocious and for those people who love being glued to the system 16hrs a day here is my "Idea for the day".... Kick start your vehicle 30 times every single morning, then swear at it and drag it all the way to a vehicle battery repair shop which you discover to your consternation opens only about half an hour after you get there. Of course your Blood pressure will rise to staggering heights and you will feel grumpy the whole day but all that will vanish into thin air when you find out that you have lost 5 kgs that month.

At last your vehicle makes some spurting sounds and springs back to life...but by then its already half an hr late to office(disclaimer: this does not cater to those who go to office everyday at 12). Driving on Chennai or rather Indian roads (with no offence to anyone...) has become an everyday battle of life and death in which life surprisingly ends up winning. It’s no more "survival of the fittest!"...it is merely survival of the luckiest or the biggest on the road....That’s where I lose out. Every time I place my faith in luck....it so totally runs out on me after making faces and laughing its heart out.

"That’s one of the remarkable things about life, it’s never so bad that it can’t get worse" -that line from Calvin totally mirrors life as we know it. Just when all these thoughts are whirling in your head compounded with the misery of seeing the contorted face of your manager, wham!!! you have hit an auto after having scraped though alive by missing a bus that was charging towards you like a mad-bull.

By now you don care who is right coz u jus wanna get on your bike, crank up your accelerator and drive like the wind( or Valentino Rossi, whichever one u prefer) and then

"Whoa!!! Finally I reached office..."

if you thought this was the end....well you r wrong. I had forgotten my purse, cell and ID card which meant effectively going back home, calling in sick, watching TV and a ordering a pizza!!! Peace at last :-)

A ray of hope!

2007-05-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

She took a deep breath and said "this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!!!" and cried like she had never cried before. The tiny little thing wrapped in a shawl gave out a deep resounding cry....Her world felt almost complete. She named her "Tamana", which means a ray of hope! She wished that the only man she had loved… who had vowed to be by her side through sickness and in health had not been snatched away from her by death

Working as a consultant for a small time company she never really earned a lot. As she was looking across the balcony of her house, watching her little daughter play, she thought to herself that the money coming in was just enough to sustain her and her daughter. She wanted to do something more, she wanted to give tamana all that she had never had in her life. She spent almost all her spare time coaching the students in her locality for their exams so as to earn some extra money.

10 years later

This was the day she had been waiting for, since the day her life was illuminated by this small bundle of joy that was placed in her hands 21 years ago. Her daughter was graduating as a gold medalist from IIT and had a job offer from one of the top 10 IT companies in the world. As Tamana walked up on the stage and and received that medal she felt that her sole purpose in life had been achieved....she as a mother felt successful.

On coming back home that day she discovered that her vision was blurred and she saw tiny dots dancing in front of her eyes. On a consultation with her doctor she was diagnosed with glaucoma and had to undergo an operation right away or else she could lose sight completely. She was nearly terrorized with fear....All through her life, the concept of self had been alien to her. But now she was worried for herself because of the fact that her daughter was leaving India to take up a job offer and she had to face life all alone in her old age.

Her being a diabetic patient made this operation all the more complicated and required much care. Lying down in her ward, just when she was contemplating what the future might have in store for her. She heard a soft tap on the door... Tamana came in quietly, held her mothers hand in hers and as if she had heard her mother's thoughts by telepathy, told her "Mom! How can I leave you alone....I just booked a flight ticket for you too.... "

P.S: this blog is dedicated to mothers day which falls on May 13th

A small figment of my creativity!!!

2007-05-11T00:48:00.000-05:00

Life! is like a play
that ends at the ending of a day...

Rainbows come and fade away
Though beautiful, never last a day...

To love or not to Love!

2007-05-08T21:46:00.000-05:00

"I hate her" he said and flung his school bag across the floor. His mom said "you shouldn’t say that sid, after all they r our neighbours now". "I don't care! That girl has made my life miserable....she tags along wherever I go, wants to sit right next to me....I have other friends too!!! Can u please change my school??" protested Sid. "No sid, they have just come from Delhi to Chennai. That girl does not even know the language. You should be helping her out", said mom with such finality that he couldn't muster up the courage to refute her.

In course of time she became his best friend, a guide, a teacher (For all of his subjects) and the only person who believed in his creative potential. She went on to study for law and he enrolled as a student in the National institute for Art and design. His parents’ dream was for him to become an engineer but she fought for him and convinced them.

His art work became the rage of the day and he went on to become a page-3 socialite, a household name, a man who made India proud in the field of Art. People came from all over the world waited in queues to own a piece of his art.

It was release of his 100th art exhibition, the world media was contemplating about the guest list as famous personalities from all over the world were rumored to attend it, The president of India was supposed to inaugurate the function. Amidst all this, he received this news from his mom "Neeta passed away due to heart attack!"

He rushed all the way to Chennai to see her face for one last time. As he knelt down beside her, the nurse gave him a small note which she said had been neeta's last wish.....The note read

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, age after age forever!

For the first time in his life he realized he was looking at the face of an angel. He remembered the way her eyes sparkled and lips parted so as to say "WOW", every time he showed her a piece of his art work. It had been his motivation to create something that would make her say that. He remembered that her favorite song was "Everything I do I do it for u", that she never wore high heels, that she was scared of a caterpillar, that she liked pizza more than noodles and that she had been his sole driving force...

All these trivial thoughts were whirling around his head and as he walked out of that ward his shoulders were drooping, his steps were slow, his face was sagged, he felt as though he had aged about 50 years. All at once he understood that he was all alone…he had lost his soul mate!!!

p.s: The quote "I seem to have..." is by Rabindranath Tagore

Conversations with God!

2007-05-07T06:17:00.000-05:00

A man on the verge of death had this vision of a guy conversing with him…

God: Hey dude! How u doing?

Man (Utterly shocked)…who the hell r u…. I’m suffering from pain n misery. How heartless can u be to show such impertinence to a man on his death bed.

God: Birth and Death is just a cycle of life as simple as changing clothes…so jus cool it n by the way I’m god!!!

Man (in utter dismay thinks): oh my god I have gone mad…. I have got schizophrenia!!!

God: (Well being the omniscient one that he is) of course u don’t have schizophrenia…I am god n I have come to give u a choice between heaven n hell.

Man: (Now in quite a harsh manner) well I don know who u r and what u want from me but I will not reveal where all the cash lies…that information dies with me. I know who has sent you and why…

God: Cash!!!…even at the deathbed that is all that u can think of…well I think man was my worst creation ever. Ok what do you want me to do for u to believe I’m god?

Man: create something on the fly… I need to witness a miracle to certify u as god otherwise I shall press this button right now and u will be whisked away at once by the doctors n nurses in this hospital….I have paid an enormous amount for these people to take care of me.

God: (Shakes his head, looks at this guy with pity in his eyes) God has to prove himself when he is standing right before u while you r willing to believe in the existence of god in a stone. Fine, as you wish …with a swish of his hand he creates a visiting card that says

God
Every atom in this universe
Beyond time and space

Man: (almost believing and a little scared! N also thinking of a thousand things to ask for) ss…sooo what do u want from me?

God: just the simple choice that I give every man “hell or heaven”?

Man: I thought God decides that…

God: Me???????? Oh that’s too much of an effort. There are 6,605,008,933 people currently on the planet and billions elsewhere in the universe. Do you think I can decide for all these people??? I’m not Santa Claus… and plus why do you think I gave u brains …decide it, you moron with a capital M!

Man: What’s the difference between heaven and hell?

God: Heaven is a place filled with bliss where joy lasts for eternity and you live in a state beyond time and space at complete peace while hell means “Back to earth!!!”

Man: so wouldn’t every human being decide on heaven????

God: Finally a relevant question! Then why do you think the population has multiplied exponentially on earth???? I m giving you 2 more minutes to choose coz I have to go n give the exact same speech to 1000 other people.

Man (In anger coz he has never been treated with such impudence!!): what the hell!!

God: So be it! Cya take care

Happiness - What’s that like????

2007-05-06T11:34:00.000-05:00

Happiness - state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy (As defined in oxford dictionary)

What do I think is happiness??? Is the question I have asked myself a zillion times (I hope that’s a valid word!!). We all have a self assumed goal or a dream and we work zealously towards its achievement. We work like dogs, sweat it out, slave it out, plan every single day to the tiniest detail to get the best out of it and at the end tell ourselves “yes I have succeeded!” .but what is truly the end of the road??? What do we expect from success? Hopefully you must have answered “happiness” (coz that’s the title!)

At times I find it very amusing that people who live on streets, who never know what tomorrow is going to bring them, who do not even have a shelter to protect themselves from the ravages of nature, seem so blissfully content with their lives while a man with all the luxury in the world takes a 100 pills a day for high blood pressure and insomnia…the sad irony of life I think is that the more you have the more you worry about how to protect all that you have earned. A person’s lifetime is valued based on the materialistic gain rather than intellectual gain or work done for the cause of social well being.

Success of course in the most generic term refers to monetary, emotional and intellectual fulfillment but I don think I have ever come across a person however successful they are to accept that they have attained such a fulfillment. It is always the question of I wish I had some more (someone asks u for 3 wishes n u ask for a thousand more).When did man become like this??? Or has he always been like this…
May be an imaginary conversation between 2 cavemen would have gone like this

Caveman 1: I killed 2 mammoths today…it will suffice for the whole year
Caveman 2: hmmm I don know…what if the ice melts and all our storage goes waste??? We should not stop hunting!

We always plan for every contingency…We do amazing risk analysis and come up with the most startling results… “Oh in about 40 years from now we may never be able to get a seat for our grand children in any educational institution so let us book a seat now!!” yes life has become THAT ridiculous!! We panic about something that’s going to happen after 200 years…

We have forgotten to live in the present, to savor the relationships we have NOW…We have forgotten to say “I’m happy!”. We have forgotten to relish the small things in life like getting drenched in the rain, going for a ride on a giant wheel, eating mom’s home made samosas on a rainy day…. Coz “we jus don have the time for such triviality”!!(Yeah right!)It is sad that humankind is chasing the rainbow of the future yet never realizing that reality is pretty gr8 too!!

“Happiness is not enough for me…I demand euphoria!”
-May be this quote from Calvin defines the whole of humanity